|
Thank U card holders! Before the day ends head on down to your nearest Jet store...
16 hours ago
|
|
|
|
Where’s Granny gone?
|
|
|
 Death isn’t easy for anyone to cope with and for children it’s even harder to understand. Anne Hahn has some advice.
Children get a sense of security from the feeling of ‘sameness’ about their world, so the changes brought about by the death of a grandparent, parent, brother or sister – or even a beloved pet – can turn a child’s life upside down.
Often, parents who are struggling with their own feelings of grief and loss overlook their child’s needs at this time. So how do you explain death to a child?
Be honest
Gillian Hawkes, a grief counsellor, says you really need to admit to children that you don’t know why someone had to die (especially if it’s a younger person, like a parent or brother/sister) and that death is a mystery to us all.
You might be tempted to try to soften the news by avoiding the word ‘death.’ However, saying ‘Granny went to sleep forever’ could cause anxiety in children, as they might associate sleep with death and wonder if they’ll be next not to wake up!
Be sensitive to different personalities
One of your children might need to talk a lot to help his grief, while another may prefer not to talk at all about the person who has died. Remember that your own way of coping might not be the way your children cope, so be sensitive to their needs and be prepared for unusual behaviour.
Often, a child who has lost a parent will regress and become ‘babyish’ for a while. It’s a way of seeking comfort and perhaps escaping until they can face a bit more reality, so be patient and understanding.
Preparing children for loss
If someone is dying, it’s not helpful to try to keep this knowledge from children. Hawkes said: “Don’t think children won’t understand what’s happening. They can pick up atmosphere or hear snatches of conversation. Admit that Granny is ill, and if they ask if she’s going to die, say, ‘Yes, she will, but we don’t know when, exactly.’
Tell them that it’s a time to tell Granny how much we love her. Dying is part of life and this is an opportunity for children to see how we care for people as they come to the end of their lives.”
For more infomation on bereavement counselling and other benefits click here.
To read more about this, check out Jet Club magazine’s Feb/March issue.
If you would like to receive the magazine sign up to be a Jet club member
|
You may also be interested in:
|
|
|
|
|