THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES AND THE KEY TO LOVE THAT LASTS


Knowing your love language is said to be the key to love that lasts. Here is all you need to know about the different love languages.


Your emotional love language is how you give and receive love – in other words, the way you experience and express love. Knowing how you show love and what makes your partner feel loved and appreciated is key to a healthy relationship. Dr Gary Chapman is a marriage counsellor and the author of the bestselling The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, which sold more than 12 million copies worldwide. He writes that couples rarely speak the same love language, so it is particularly important for us to know our partners’ way of expressing affection, as this makes us effective communicators of love.

FILLING THE 'LOVE TANK'
By speaking your partner's love language, you meet their love needs and subsequently fill their 'love tank' – a comparison that Chapman uses to illustrate the level of love one needs. Similar to a car's fuel tank, that needs enough fuel in it to keep the car running, one's love tank also needs to be filled up frequently to keep the love fire burning. There are five different types of love languages. By identifying and learning to speak your partner’s love language, you keep their love-tank full and, according to Chapman, discover the key to long-lasting love.

THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES
Words of affirmation

If words expressing appreciation and love make your heart feel like bursting, then this is your primary love. Your love tank is kept stoked up by your partner showering you with compliments and loving, encouraging. You feel most cherished when you hear words such as 'I love you', 'you make me proud' and 'I appreciate you'.



Receiving gifts
This is a visible symbol of love. It says I was thinking about you. It does not have to translate to spending money every time, but some attention and thought, go a long way. Does a short and sweet note with a flower left on the bed make your heart sing? Then this is your love language.

Quality time
If you most value spending time with your partner and having their undivided attention, this is the love language you speak. Quality time is about setting time aside to be fully present and connected with your partner. Those who speak this language revel in intimate dinners or conversations on the couch with the TV and phones off, that make them feel loved and appreciated.

Physical touch
Physical touch is a beautiful way to communicate love, whether with a kiss, hug, caress or just holding hands. If nothing makes you feel more loved than holding hands, or a random hug and kiss from your partner, then physical touch is your primary love language.



Acts of service
People who speak this love language appreciate their partner doing little things for them that show consideration, appreciation and a knowledge of their wants and needs. If your love tank is filled up by your partner offering to wash the car, give the kids a bath, prepare dinner or babysit while you take a much-needed bubble bath after a long day, this is your love language. These acts of service require effort and energy, and mean the world to a partner who needs this kind of validation.

WHAT IF I FIND IT UNCOMFORTABLE?

What happens when it is difficult for you to speak your partner's love language? Perhaps you grew up in a family where giving hugs was uncommon and as a result, find it uncomfortable.

Chapman says when an action doesn't come naturally to you, it is a greater expression of love to perform it anyway. He adds that when we perform acts of love, we don't do them for ourselves but for the person we love. 'We choose to speak their language of love whether or not it is natural for us. Love is a choice. And either partner can start the process today.'



By Xolisile Dlamini



THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES AND THE KEY TO LOVE THAT LASTS THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES AND THE KEY TO LOVE THAT LASTS Reviewed by Jet Club on October 07, 2019 Rating: 5

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