Being in love is bliss. Just don’t get caught up in it that you lose yourself.
Contrary to popular belief, you can commit to a partner and still maintain your personal freedom. We all require the right balance of freedom and affiliation to live full and meaningful lives. If there wasn’t this harmony, we would feel confined and trapped, and like we’re not whole or content. Relationships flourish when there is freedom for both parties. Being together and committed should always be a willing act of love rather than a requirement that is forced. Here are a few words of wisdom to help you along the way.
1. BE REALISTIC
Relationships naturally come with constraints and demands. Instead of resenting these limitations, acknowledge them as part of the partnership dynamic. Recognise that compromise
is essential for both parties to experience freedom within the relationship. However, always remember that a partnership or relationship should be a choice, not an obligation. Never force anything.
2. ACKNOWLEDGE COMPLEXITY
Relationships involve multiple commitments – to yourself, your partner, the relationship itself, and others. Avoid oversimplifying by acknowledging the various priorities at play. Whether this requires finding compatibilities, compromising on differences or allowing space for individual pursuits, recognise and respect the multifaceted nature of relationships.
3. EXPLORE DIFFERENT PATHS
When facing differences, consider negotiating compromises or engaging in parallel activities. Just because you are compatible with each other does not mean you will always be perfectly aligned. Find harmony through compromise or independent pursuits.
4. CONTRACT WITH CARE
While a partnership is a choice, honour the commitments you make within it. Understand that moral obligations arise
from these agreements, but also recognise the importance of aligning any such contracts with your personal values and desires.
5. AVOID MORALISING
Resist the temptation to shame or guilt-trip your partner based on your personal preferences and beliefs. Become comfortable with the notion that disappointment and desire are part of human nature, and refrain from making moral judgements about individual choices.
6. COMMUNICATE CLEARLY
This is the one thing most couples get wrong and have to work on daily to improve. You need to know your boundaries and be decisive about your intentions to maintain respect for yourself and your partner. Avoid ambiguous or misleading behaviour. Clarity fosters trust and understanding within the relationship. If your intentions are clear and pure, you’ll have a happy partner and more room inside of the relationship to embrace trust, transparency and freedom as a unit.
7. ADDRESS YOUR OWN INTERNAL CONFLICTS
Reflect on your personal desires and values to resolve internal conflicts on your own before seeking out compatibility in your partner. Recognise, too, that expecting contradictory qualities in a partner can lead to blame shifting and dissatisfaction.
8. USE COMPATIBLE NEGOTIATION STYLES
Prioritise finding a partner whose approach to handling differences aligns with yours. Avoid individuals who tend to engage in automatic moralising or who impose rigid expectations on relationships.
9. TRUST WISELY
Understand that trust must be continually earned, even within an established relationship. Choose a partner whose judgement and discernment you trust. There is no point in being with someone you constantly have to check up
on (on social media or through friends and family) just to see if they’re staying committed to you. This is a red flag that could lead to unhealthy obsessive behaviour.
10. EMBRACE RECIPROCITY
With freedom comes granting equal freedom to your partner. In modern relationships, equality and mutual respect are paramount for fostering individual autonomy and collective harmony. At the end of the day, true freedom is being with someone who loves and accepts you for who you are. Always keep that in mind.
Text: Charlton Knight
Photo: Gallo/Getty Images
Relationships naturally come with constraints and demands. Instead of resenting these limitations, acknowledge them as part of the partnership dynamic. Recognise that compromise
is essential for both parties to experience freedom within the relationship. However, always remember that a partnership or relationship should be a choice, not an obligation. Never force anything.
2. ACKNOWLEDGE COMPLEXITY
Relationships involve multiple commitments – to yourself, your partner, the relationship itself, and others. Avoid oversimplifying by acknowledging the various priorities at play. Whether this requires finding compatibilities, compromising on differences or allowing space for individual pursuits, recognise and respect the multifaceted nature of relationships.
3. EXPLORE DIFFERENT PATHS
When facing differences, consider negotiating compromises or engaging in parallel activities. Just because you are compatible with each other does not mean you will always be perfectly aligned. Find harmony through compromise or independent pursuits.
4. CONTRACT WITH CARE
While a partnership is a choice, honour the commitments you make within it. Understand that moral obligations arise
from these agreements, but also recognise the importance of aligning any such contracts with your personal values and desires.
5. AVOID MORALISING
Resist the temptation to shame or guilt-trip your partner based on your personal preferences and beliefs. Become comfortable with the notion that disappointment and desire are part of human nature, and refrain from making moral judgements about individual choices.
6. COMMUNICATE CLEARLY
This is the one thing most couples get wrong and have to work on daily to improve. You need to know your boundaries and be decisive about your intentions to maintain respect for yourself and your partner. Avoid ambiguous or misleading behaviour. Clarity fosters trust and understanding within the relationship. If your intentions are clear and pure, you’ll have a happy partner and more room inside of the relationship to embrace trust, transparency and freedom as a unit.
7. ADDRESS YOUR OWN INTERNAL CONFLICTS
Reflect on your personal desires and values to resolve internal conflicts on your own before seeking out compatibility in your partner. Recognise, too, that expecting contradictory qualities in a partner can lead to blame shifting and dissatisfaction.
8. USE COMPATIBLE NEGOTIATION STYLES
Prioritise finding a partner whose approach to handling differences aligns with yours. Avoid individuals who tend to engage in automatic moralising or who impose rigid expectations on relationships.
9. TRUST WISELY
Understand that trust must be continually earned, even within an established relationship. Choose a partner whose judgement and discernment you trust. There is no point in being with someone you constantly have to check up
on (on social media or through friends and family) just to see if they’re staying committed to you. This is a red flag that could lead to unhealthy obsessive behaviour.
10. EMBRACE RECIPROCITY
With freedom comes granting equal freedom to your partner. In modern relationships, equality and mutual respect are paramount for fostering individual autonomy and collective harmony. At the end of the day, true freedom is being with someone who loves and accepts you for who you are. Always keep that in mind.
Text: Charlton Knight
Photo: Gallo/Getty Images
HOW TO YOU MAINTAIN YOUR PERSONAL FREEDOM IN A RELATIONSHIP
Reviewed by Amaarah
on
May 15, 2024
Rating:
Reviewed by Amaarah
on
May 15, 2024
Rating:
