5 conversation starters to get your kids to open up
Tired of one-word answers from your kids? Don’t worry, we’ve got your back!
These playful and open-ended questions are designed to spark real conversations and give you a peek into your child’s world.
1. “What made you feel proud of yourself today?”
This question shifts focus from external events to internal feelings. Instead of asking what happened, you’re asking how they felt about their actions. Kids love sharing moments when they felt accomplished, whether it was helping a friend, solving a tricky math problem or standing up for someone. This naturally leads to storytelling about the situation and their role in it.
@phinnahchichi How to get your teens to open up to you. #parentingteens #phinnahchichi #parentsoftiktok #fyp #parentingtips #parentinghacks ♬ original sound - Phinnah Chichi
2. “If you could give today a movie title, what would it be?”
This creative approach transforms their day into a story they’re the star of. They might say ‘The Great Lunch Trade’ and launch into a tale about swapping sandwiches, or ‘Mystery of the Missing Homework’, which opens discussion about organisation and responsibility. The movie title format makes even ordinary days feel worth talking about.
@bratbustersparenting How to get kids to open up about their day at school? Often parents try to get it out of them right when they get in the car. Here’s the thing; they are just coming down from the day, and most likely won’t want to talk about it right then and there. My advice? Just ask how their day was, and if they don’t want to talk about it then, don’t worry. It’ll usually come out organically later on. Not sure where to start in your calm leadership journey? Check out my BratBusters Behaviour Board (for ages three and older) that I send to my parenting newsletter, linked in my bio. Then, if you’re interested in learning the tools I teach for parenting like a calm leader, check out the BratBusters Bootcamps, linked in my bio. ` ` ` #Parenting101 #PositiveParenting #ParentingSkills #FamilyWellness #ParentingSupport #RaisingKids #ParentingAdvice #MindfulParenting
♬ original sound - Lisa Bunnage - Parenting Coach
3. “What’s something that happened today that you want to remember forever, and what’s something you’d rather forget?”
This two-part question acknowledges that days have ups and downs. It gives kids permission to share both positive and negative experiences. Often, the “forget” part reveals challenges they’re facing, while the “remember” part highlights what brings them joy. The contrast helps you understand their emotional landscape.
4. “If you could change one rule at school (or home), what would it be and why?”
This question taps into their sense of fairness and gives them a voice in rulemaking. Their answers reveal what frustrates them, what they value and how they think about authority. You might discover they want longer break time because they need more time to connect with friends, or they wish homework came with more choices because they learn differently.
@teacherdeddy To get a child to willingly open up about their day can be a real struggle for parents. But there’s a technique called presumptive assumption that can help! Instead of asking, “How was your day?” try making an assumption about their day instead. Humans are naturally inclined to correct others. So if your assumption is wrong, they’ll jump in to correct you and end up sharing what actually happened. Interesting, right? Give it a try and see how much more your child starts talking! 😊 Love, Teacher Deddy. 💡 #parenting #asianparents #asianparenting #sgparenting #parentingtips #sgparents #sgtiktok #education #parentsoftiktok #parentinghacks #parenthood #codingschool ♬ original sound - teacherdeddy
5. “What’s the most interesting thing someone taught you today?”
This goes beyond asking what they learned to focus on the human connection of teaching and learning. They might talk about a classmate who showed them a new game, a teacher who explained something in a fun way, or even something they figured out on their own. It celebrates the idea that learning happens everywhere and everyone can be a teacher.
Pro tip: Ask these questions during car rides, while cooking together, or during bedtime routines when kids feel relaxed and conversation flows naturally.
@parentingcoach I have something that will help your kids open up and communicate with you… want it? LISTEN HERE #listeningparent #listen #listening #bondwithyourkids #gentleparent #responsiveparent #betterparentingtips #parentingcoach #toolsthatwork #positivediscipline #gentleparentinghacks #savethisvideo #dmfortips ♬ original sound - Tia Slightham M Ed. Certified
Also read: 10 tips for raising happy, well-rounded children
Words: Robyn MacLarty
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