5 relationship green flags to look out for (and celebrate)
We talk a lot about red flags – but what about the green ones? You know, those little signs that you’re in a healthy, supportive and genuinely good-for-your-soul kind of relationship.
Whether you’re just getting to know someone or have been dating for years, these are the green flags worth noticing – and celebrating, according to relationship expert and the brain behind massively popular online resource The Holistic Psychologist, Dr Nicole LePera.
1. Follow the 60% rule
The first thing to know about ‘green flags’ in relationships – i.e. behaviours that support a healthy relationship – is that no one is perfect, and no one will be exhibiting these green flag behaviours 100% of the time. “All humans have flaws. … What I want you to think about is, does the person show up in these ways more often than not? Say, around 60 or 70% of the time,” says Dr LePera.
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2. They are transparent
“This is openness. Someone who shares their perspective, their emotions, their intentions. They don’t hide their actions. They are not defensive and don’t shut down on certain topics,” says Dr LaPera. It makes sense, since transparency is the bedrock of trust which is the most fundamental building block of a healthy relationship.
3. They are considerate
“This is the ability to take others’ thoughts, emotions or perspective into account. When we share things, we feel that we are really being listened to, and that they are interested in our perspective or experience of things,” she says.
4. Their actions match their values and words
This is the essence of integrity. “When people are not consistent [in their words and actions], it’s really hard to trust them. On the other hand, when people do what they say, and when we know that they are acting in ways that align with their values, we are able to feel safer and secure with them.”
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5. Respect for boundaries
It’s a bright green flag when someone is able to perceive and accept your boundaries. “For example, if you share that you feel uncomfortable based on something that they have said or done, and they listen; they try to understand your discomfort, and they honour your request or your boundary.”
Words: Robyn MacLarty
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