Before you snap a selfie for your new dating profile, read this guide to stay safe online – and in person
People around the world are exploring the digital space in pursuit of new love connections. However, it’s hard to pick out the serious suitors from the many online ‘flirtees’. Let’s take a look at the digital dating do’s and don’ts so you can safely seek love online…
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?
Be honest with yourself: are you using online dating platforms to flirt and pass time, to boost your ego and make you feel good, to make new friends, or to find a life partner? Flirtation online has become a bit of a ‘game’, with many people looking to simply tally up matches as validation of their desirability. When meeting people online, be clear about your intentions before you end up misleading someone or wasting your own time.
REMAIN RESPECTFUL
Sexual language is common in online chats but remember that not everyone appreciates ‘dirty talk’. In fact, this may potentially get you blocked from their inbox forever. The rule of thumb is to always be respectful and kind when chatting online.
Always be mindful of the texts, images and videos you send. We’re living in the ‘screenshot’ era and it’s possible that your private chats or pics could be saved in someone’s gallery or shared with their friend groups. Before you get too personal online, make sure you can really trust the person behind the profile.
DON’T OVERESTIMATE A POTENTIAL MATCH
Modern dating gives you plenty of options, catering to ‘your preferences’ – or so it may seem. Don’t get too caught up in online appearances and popularity on social media. Your preferences may attract you to a person’s profile, but get to know the real person before you become too invested in a potential match.
As you start communicating with them, ask yourself: Do we actually have anything in common? Be careful – you may just pass up the ‘right match’ in terms of personality and compatibility for a ‘catfish’ posing as the perfect match online. With cyber dating, you just never know who you are dealing with until the relationship goes offline.
VIDEO CALL FIRST
Thankfully, we have access to many convenient video chat platforms (FaceTime, Google Hangouts, Skype, WhatsApp and Facebook video calls). Using one of these options is a good idea to get a glimpse of your date before meeting them IRL, as it also helps to reduce the risk of being catfished. This initial video interaction will also help you get more insight into your potential date’s personality, behavioural traits and general vibe.
BE CAREFUL WHEN MEETING IN PERSON
At some point during your quest to find love, you’ll find a match and they’ll be eager to meet. This may seem like a good sign, but you do still need to protect yourself – you are basically meeting a stranger, after all.
Have your first meeting in an open, public area that isn’t too crowded – perhaps a picnic in a public park or a coffee date. Or you could agree to meet with a group of friends from your side and theirs – this way, you can be sure they are who they say they are, and you have witnesses to your meeting (your friends may also alert you to any suspicions, especially if you’re blinded by first impressions).
Secondly, send a friend or family member a pin of the location you’ll be at – or even a live pin so they can track your movements – just in case things go south. Of course, you need to trust your gut; give a potential relationship a chance, but stay observant and have emergency help at hand at all times.
LEARN THE LINGO
Breadcrumbing
Your potential date sends flirty texts that keep you interested, but shows little to no intention of actually going on a date.
Catfishing
When someone uses fake names, information or photos to gain interest, or uses an emotional bond to eventually scam a victim. Red flags are mixed-up stories and never being available for a video chat.
Cuffing season
Usually the colder months, during which users who would otherwise want to be single seek out a companion to snuggle and settle down with until the weather warms up.
Deep like
When you scroll through your potential date’s social media, liking everything. Go too far back on their timeline and you come across a little too eager. Keep your likes for recent posts!
DTR
‘Define the relationship’ – being transparent is best.
Ghosting
When you’ve been flirting online, but they suddenly cut off all communication with no explanation.
IRL
If they’re mentioning this, they probably want to take the next step by meeting you in person (‘in real life’).
Text courtesy of Club Magazine
Photo: Gallo/Getty images
