Finding love against all odds

Love makes the world go round. Yes indeed, but love still has its challenges. Some relationships make it through the tough times, others don’t. We chat with three couples whose love stories overcame all odds

Remember that KFC proposal that had the nation organising an entire wedding on social media? Professionals, from make-up artists to chauffeurs, offered their services so that the couple could have a fairytale wedding day, which they did. Don’t you just love a happy ending? These three couples show us that love can conquer all!

COUPLE 1: COMMUNICATION IS KEY
Tonderai Nyamadzawo and Alice Ncube were high school sweethearts growing up in Zimbabwe. Even though they were young, their feelings were too strong to ignore. When Alice was awarded a scholarship to study at the Cape Peninsula University of Technology in Cape Town, the real test of their love began. They had never been apart and now found themselves in separate countries.

‘It was torturous on my side, I won’t lie,’ says Tonderai. ‘I had never been to South Africa and one would hear stories about how girls from Zimbabwe would get up to all sorts of mischievous things there. At times you would also see young ladies returning home with children. I thought I was doomed.’ While he knew Alice was in South Africa studying, his mind played tricks on him. Was there another man taking care of her needs? Was his disadvantaged rural background going to work against him?

Tonderai decided he was going to fight for her. He had no intention of relocating to South Africa, but something had to give. ‘I started communicating with my uncles in Johannesburg then scrambled for transport money to move there.’ He lived with his uncles while doing menial jobs, and his breakthrough came when he started working for an electrician.

The electrician taught him well, and on weekends Tonderai began building up his own client base as a side hustle. He was eventually able to start his own electrical services company. Before Alice completed her university degree, Tonderai had paid her bridal price. But Alice had her own insecurities. She thought her partner would be forced into marriage because of his age. ‘I was really afraid that the long distance relationship would not work,’ she says. ‘But I had to accept the scholarship – I come from a poor family and that was my only ticket.’ In her first year in varsity, communication was restricted. ‘This was way before WhatsApp so we could only SMS once a month and I found that very challenging,’ says Alice. Things began to look up when she got a waitressing job. ‘I was then able to phone him.’ She adds that during her semester holidays, she would travel to Johannesburg where she stayed with a friend and got to see Tonderai. During the December holidays they travelled back home together.

Tonderai’s determination paid off. Today, they are happily married and blessed with three beautiful children. Their secret to staying together? ‘People often underestimate the power of communication. We wouldn’t be where we are today if it had not been for good communication.’ Their advice to other couples is to talk as much as possible. ‘I remember I had to write a snail mail letter because I had no money to send an SMS,’ recalls Tonderai. ‘It gave me the freedom to fully express myself.’

COUPLE 2: SUPPORT IS IMPORTANT
SABC 1 recently broadcast a heart-wrenching story on the popular show, NGO Musa, which highlights the plights people face in their lives. This particular story was that of Pastor Jerry Zwane and his wife Karabo, and how their lives changed when they discovered that they were battling infertility. After eight years and six miscarriages, Karabo was told that she was completely infertile and she had no chance of conceiving. ‘You can’t talk to your father about it because your father has another plan, which is to get another wife. You feel isolated, you feel lonely,’ says Pastor Zwane. ‘Infertility is still regarded as a taboo subject in South Africa, and a lot of couples still experience terrible shame around it,’ he adds. With little to no hope, they tried artificial insemination twice and In Vitro Fertilisation (IVF), but to no avail. Like any other woman going through infertility, Karabo’s world was crumbling around her. She had become the laughing stock of her community and there were whispers about her husband taking another wife who could give him a child.