How to get over your spending guilt
Making one unplanned purchase doesn't mean you're going to cash out your life savings. So, why does it make you feel so guilty?
How often have you stared longingly at something you really wanted to buy for yourself, but asked, “Do I really need this?” and then put the item back?
You might feel like you’re always `spending too much’, and when you have a family, spending even a little bit on yourself can make you feel guilty. Is it because you’re the `provider’ and feel like that money should be going to your kids? Do you maybe have outstanding debts? Or has it been ingrained in you that you shouldn’t spoil yourself when there are others in need of charity?
Here’s the thing: spending your money on things you like is completely okay. And there are ways you can get over your spending guilt.
Budget for it
Ah, there’s that word again! It may seem like every piece of financial advice talks about budgeting, but that’s because it really does work. A budget allows you to track where your money is going and gives you a clear outline of where you currently are in achieving your financial goals.
According to Old Mutual, a trusted budgeting method is the 50/20/30 formula, which means allocating 5o% of your budget for fixed expenses, zo% towards saving and 3o% towards flexible costs – so there is room for spoiling yourself!
If you are diligently following a budget each month, there is no reason not to spoil yourself once in a while. Sure, this might not be an overseas holiday, but if you’ve been eyeing that airfryer – and your budget allows – buy it! If you still have enough money left over after your expenses and debts are paid, then make that purchase.
@breakyourbudget Got spending guilt? Listen up #personalfinance #ShadowAndBone #SkipTheRinse ♬ Summer - Instrumental - Devinney
Spend smartly
Spending is no biggie when you’re ‘cheating’ the system. Sign up for affordable subscriptions to items you enjoy, like The Book Case for book lovers or The Sweetie Box for those with a sweet tooth.
If you have a hobby, it’s a good way to spend on something that will fulfil you. If you want to try something new, seek out classes or workshops that can give you a special price – there are many art workshops or fitness studios welcoming newcomers at a discount.
If you’re looking for something more lavish, like a weekend away or a spa day, sites like Wikideals and secondary booking sites can offer discounted stays and coupons without skimping on the pleasure.
Be realistic
If you’ve made a purchase, and you know your budget is looking more solid than a concrete slab, there should be little reason to worry or feel guilty. You can provide for your family and still indulge in something just for you.
In an article for Momentum, mental-health practitioner Dr Erika Hitge says that we sometimes need to stop and think rationally if we feel like our spending is going to cause our life to crumble. “For example, how dire is the situation really? Can you buy bread? If you can’t pay for your water and lights, can you at least pay part of it?” she says.
However, if the feeling of guilt becomes overbearing, you may need to investigate the true source of that anxiety, which often lies in our upbringing or family history. Speaking of…
Don't compare
In an episode of the ‘Making Money’ podcast, Vicky Reynal – a financial psychotherapist and author of the book Money on Your Mind – explained that some people don’t spend because they feel guilty for having money in the first place, and don’t want to face the consequences thereof.
Sometimes we think something bad will happen to us, that we’re tempting fate, if we spend our money on non-necessities like perfume or another pair of shoes; or we feel we should be putting our money into more meaningful things.
Perhaps you think you don’t deserve the wealth you’ve accrued when so many others are destitute or struggling. If you are in a position where you have extra money, reframe your thinking so that you believe you deserve to spoil yourself with it.
Most people struggle to find the right balance in their finances, even when they are in a good financial position, so no one really has it all figured out. But guilt is an emotion like any other, and emotions can sometimes be misguided. Find the right tools to help you navigate your wealth and remind yourself that you are doing what is within your means.
Get expert advice
If you feel like you are dealing with the guilt of spending too heavily and it’s starting to affect your life or relationships, speak to a financial advisor to help narrow down your concerns. Or seek the help of a coach or therapist who can guide you through self-reflection and identify the underlying causes of your guilt.
By: Saadiqah Schroeder
Text courtesy of Jet magazine
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