Why there’s no shame in being solo this festive season 

What ‘home’ means  

The concept of ‘home’ is a place of comfort, belonging and warmth – a sanctuary where you can be yourself without judgement, stress or rejection.  

But for some, it’s more complicated — and even painful. The thought of going home brings up feelings of anxiety, sadness or even trauma. Perhaps ‘home’ is associated with bad relationships, stifling expectations or unresolved conflicts that have left emotional scars.  

The concept of ‘home’ is also tied to our sense of identity and personal history. It can represent a particular time and place in our lives — one that may be fondly nostalgic, or painful and difficult to revisit. For some, ‘home’ evokes memories of childhood innocence and happiness; for others it can stir up feelings of discomfort, guilt or regret.  

Whatever the association, it’s clear that ‘home’ is a complex and multifaceted concept that evokes strong emotions and, often, conflicting thoughts and desires.  

It’s okay if the idea of ‘home’ has changed over time for you. In fact, it reflects your growth, experiences and shifting perspectives. As we all navigate different stages of life, our understanding of what ‘home’ means to us is likely to evolve, and the emotional significance we attach to it may shift. In this sense, ‘home’ can be wherever we feel most ourselves, most at peace and most alive. 

It’s not selfish to take care of yourself

Taking care of yourself is the best gift you can give this season. It’s not selfish to put yourself first, especially when it comes to your mental health and well-being. The reasons for people choosing not to go back home for the holidays are varied, but often it’s about recognising the toll that certain relationships and environments take on them.

Acknowledging that you deserve better than to spend your precious time and energy on people and places that drain you is a crucial part of this decision. It’s about recognising that your own needs and desires matter, and that you have the right to prioritise them. By choosing not to go back, you can break free from the pressure to conform to others’ expectations and instead forge your own path. 

 This can be incredibly liberating, allowing you to focus on your own growth, happiness and well-being. Embracing the freedom to create your own traditions this year, and live life on your own terms, is a beautiful aspect of choosing not to go back. By doing so, you can create a sense of `home’ and belonging that’s authentic to who you truly are.  

Release the guilt  

Of course, the tug-of-war between guilt and freedom is real. On one hand, there’s the weight of expectation, the fear of judgement or conflict, and the nagging feeling that you’re being selfish. On the other, there’s the liberating sense of breaking free from the pressure to conform and embracing what truly nourishes your mind, body and soul. It’s a delicate balance, but one that’s essential if you want to live life fully.  

There will be those who don’t get your choice, and will judge you for it. But here’s the thing: their opinions don’t define your worth. What matters is that you’re taking care of yourself; that you’re showing up for your life in a way that feels authentic and meaningful.  

The festive season can be what you make it – the world is your oyster and others are just side characters (respectfully). So, this festive season, consider giving yourself permission to choose what feels right for you. Maybe that means not going home, or maybe it means finding new ways to celebrate and connect with loved ones that feel safer and more nourishing. And maybe it’s doing absolutely nothing — embracing the art of doing less and being more present in the moment… taking long walks, doing yoga or simply enjoying the stillness.