Paternal postpartum depression explained

The reasons new dads experience debilitating depression or anxiety are not particularly surprising. Dr Roux says that many men feel a deep sense of responsibility (or pressure) to provide for their child financially. They are likely to be financially responsible for the mother as well, following the birth, which can cause enormous stress. This is then coupled with a dramatic change in lifestyle as well as sleep deprivation. 

“In addition, the father’s relationship with the mother is also a factor — there may be reduced intimacy between partners, and she may be too tired or focused on the infant to give attention to her partner. She might be disengaged or become overly controlling, or be suffering from postpartum depression herself. A new mom’s resources are stretched to capacity,” Dr Roux explains. 

“Any or all of these factors could also potentially trigger unresolved trauma around his own mother or father, or his upbringing.” 

This begs the question: are some men more susceptible to new-father blues than others? “Certainly, men who have a history of clinical depression or anxiety are more at risk,” says Dr Roux. “Men who have low self-esteem, or who had traumatic childhood circumstances, or those in difficult economic situations, could also be susceptible.”  

Most men experiencing PPPD may feel guilty or berate themselves, leading to negative self-talk. But Dr Roux points out that it is a completely natural, normal and human response to a big change.  

“Men, in particular, may view not being able to cope as ‘pathetic’ or `weak’; in other words, unmanly, and this can compound matters.  

“Society also conveys the message that we are supposed to feel elated when we become parents — expressing anything other than joy is taboo. Joy is, of course, part of the parent equation, but it’s certainly not the whole picture,” says Dr Roux. “Men may hide the fact that they’re struggling. We call it ‘smiling depression’, where outwardly everything seems fine but inside he may be falling apart.”