Red flags you should look out for in a relationship
In a relationship, it can be easy to overlook certain behaviours because you like someone. But what are the warning signs that should set off alarm bells in your relationship? It’s important to spot these red flags early on.
What are red flags in relationships?
According to clinical psychologist Dr Wendy Walsh, red flags are a sign that the person in the relationship most likely isn’t ready to have a healthy relationship, and it could be emotionally dangerous proceeding down the road together.
Read the following and speak to your partner if these signs feel familiar:
1. Spending all your time together
New relationships are so exciting! You can quickly find yourself in a love bubble, spending every second together. But as much as you love being together, it is crucial to also spend time apart to avoid becoming lost and isolated from your loved ones. If your partner responds poorly to you wanting time for yourself, that is a red flag. If they get irritated or manipulate you into spending all your time together, this could point to possessive behaviour. We need hobbies, friends and our own interests to be in a healthy relationship.
2. Speaking ill of their exes
Does your partner call all their exes ‘crazy’? We’ve all been through a breakup that can taint the image of your former significant other, but it is suspicious if the ex always seems to be the problem. Take notice of how your partner speaks about former relationships. If they do not acknowledge the part they played in the breakup, they will lack the same insight into the current relationship. Beware – your name will likely be added to the extensive list of ‘crazy exes’ once you have broken up.
3. Your partner does not listen to you
No, we’re not talking about them not remembering every detail of your workday or forgetting how to load the dishwasher properly (after having it explained multiple times). Does your partner listen to your interests and what is important to you? Pay attention to how your partner makes you feel. You should feel heard and seen by your partner. Have an open conversation about how showing genuine interest and listening is important to you. If their behaviour changes after that – great! If not, know that the person who will make you feel heard could still be out there.
4. A troubled relationship with your family and friends
It is not a good sign if the people you are closest to do not like your partner. Most likely, they see some red flags you have not noticed yet. You and your partner should separately speak to your friends about these problems. While your loved ones may not know the exact ins and outs of your relationship, they are typically coming from a place of concern and want the best for you. With open communication, you can easily work through this red flag in your relationship.
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