What is gentle parenting and how to implement it

“When we are gentle to our children, we model and help create the inner voice that will accompany them through their lives,” practice owner and primary clinician Allison Andrews, PsyD, confirmed in a recent article on the topic.Pay attention

Just because children are pint-sized, it doesn’t mean they don’t have a voice and a personality. Both of these will only ever thrive if they feel heard and understood.

The bond and partnership we build with our children from an early age help set the stage for how they will grow and prosper in the world. This way, there’s room to introduce consistency and clear boundaries without shame or blame. Doing this may help to reduce flare-ups and unnecessary upsets due to confusion and misunderstanding.

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Create space

Gentle parenting might be hard to consider if you grew up in a house where children were seen and not heard. The key is patience and basing your approach on your little ones feeling safe, where their opinions and thoughts matter. That’s when connections happen, and with them, the opportunity for you and your child to negotiate.

Three benefits of gentle parenting:<br/>
• It reduces anxiety, especially in shy toddlers
• It improves the bond between you and your next generation
• It improves social skills

Relish, don’t rule

As your child or children grow, they become adults who, thanks to your guidance, are compliant, self-regulating, kind, and conscientious because they want to be, not because they’re focussing on an offer of a short-lived treat.

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Remember

Being a kid is hard. Rules, siblings, hormones, peer pressure, and so much more… it’s real. Acknowledge that it’s all new and most often confusing and scary for them. Giving your little ones a space where they can shut off and process new information every day of their childhood is priceless.

Look inwardEvery time you face a challenge, be it professional or in your own home, take a breath and look at the trigger. Most often, it has nothing to do with what’s unravelling on the lounge, but rather it’s coming from your own ‘stuff’. Avoid imposing that on your children.

Instead, take a moment to come back and be present with what is unfolding in front of you. Being the grown-up, welcome participation and look to your littles to help solve the impasse together.

“When we show gentleness, especially during stressful times, we model frustration tolerance, and we model flexibility. Staying calm and being gentle and firm sets the tone for positive growth and development,” Andrews concludes.

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Ultimately

There is no definitive rule book for successful, gentle parenting, but there is a lot of qualified medical and psychological research on the topic.

When it comes to your family and reality, adapt, and grow as your children do and look to learn as much as you teach. When stability and self-belief are present, the only thing left is to encourage the positive.

And while you’re at it, look to often say things like:

• You make me proud
• Your words are meaningful
• You are important
• I believe in you
• Don’t be afraid to be you
• I trust you
• We all make mistakes
• You are beautiful inside and out
• Nobody is perfect, or
• I love you

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