What you should know before paying lobola
Beyond tradition lies a tangled web of laws and love. We unravel what every couple should know before paying lobola
For many South Africans, lobola is a proud, time-honoured tradition — a celebration of love, culture and families coming together. But beyond the festivities and celebrations, lobola can also be the gateway to a legally binding marriage with all the accompanying financial and legal consequences.
Before you send the letter of intent or rally up your negotiators, take a moment to ask: what does paying lobola really mean for your relationship in the eyes of the law?
A cultural bridge with legal weight
The process of lobola — often referred to as a ‘bride price’ or dowry – marks the union of not just two individuals but their families and communities. Yet, it’s not merely a ceremonial gesture.
According to Matsela Thumbathi, senior attorney at Motsepe Attorneys, “Before one can initiate the process of lobola, one needs to take cognisance of the cultural practices governing a certain ethnic group and the customs applicable to each group.
“Parties should, more importantly, consider the matrimonial property system they would like to govern their marriage, and take the necessary and prescribed steps before the lobola negotiations,” Matsela says.
This often-overlooked step can have profound implications for your financial future. In South African law, the moment lobola is negotiated and customary rites are performed, you may already be considered married – whether or not you’ve walked down the aisle.
When culture meets the constitution
Under the Recognition of Customary Marriages Act 120 of 1998, a marriage is legally recognised if it adheres to customary law — meaning traditional negotiations and celebrations are not just symbolic, but binding.
“Lobola is one of the requirements for a customary marriage,” explains Matsela. She also points out that the Act lists the following requirements for a valid customary marriage:
- Prospective spouses must both be above the age of 18 years and must both consent to be married.
- The marriage must be negotiated and celebrated in accordance with customary law.
Once these requirements are met, your union is legal — even if you haven’t registered it. And while registration isn’t essential for validity, it’s crucial for protecting your rights.
“Spouses in a customary marriage have a duty to ensure that their union is registered,” Matsela continues. “Registration is not a requirement for a valid customary marriage; therefore, even if spouses fail to register their marriage, the marriage will still be recognised as such.”
In South African law, the moment lobola is negotiated and customary rites are performed, you are already considered married
Counting the cost
Beyond the emotional and cultural significance, lobola comes with tangible financial commitments.
“The general process for lobola involves a series of agreements and discussions between the families of both the bride and the groom. Once the customs and traditions are fulfilled, it is general practice that the prospective bride is then handed over to the groom’s family as their wife or makoti.
“In South Africa, we celebrate customary marriages differently and each tribe celebrates and or welcomes their wife or makoti according to their customs and practices,” Matsela says.
And when it comes to setting the price? “Lobola price can differ according to each culture and religion. In South Africa, a bride’s educational background and achievements determines the amount. It’s not seen as ‘buying’ the bride, but it’s vested in honouring her and the family at large,” Matsela says.
But she advises prospective spouses to budget for more than cattle or cash. There are legal fees to consider too — particularly if you don’t want to be married in community of property, which is the default under customary marriage law.
“Parties that would want to be married out of community of property should also budget for the costs of a Notary Public to prepare and register their antenuptial contract before lobola is paid.”
Love with legal layers
Matsela points out that the South African legal system acknowledges different kinds of romantic relationsips.
“Our law does not only recognise married couples, it also recognises long-term partnerships,” she says.
“Couples that do not wish to be married can also regulate the consequences of their union by entering into agreements through a Notary Public registered in our Deeds Registry.”
Whether you’re planning a customary or civil marriage, the legal status is the same — with one major difference.
“In terms of legal status, customary marriages and civil marriages are the same. However, polygamous marriages are not an option for couples in a civil marriage; civil marriages are monogamous only.”
“The best marriage foundation you can lay is one built on knowledge. Because while love might be blind, the law isn’t”
The best marriage foundation you can lay is one built on knowledge. Because while love might be blind, the law isn’t
The right legal fit for you
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By: Mecayla Maseka
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