Tatum Fullard
5 min read ▪ October 9, 2025 ▪ Gallo/Getty Images
We discuss why speaking your mother tongue at home matters for identity, connection and culture.
As a parent, there’s nothing quite like hearing your child’s first words. The way their little voice pronounces the words, the way their face lights up with excitement — it’s a moment that stays with you forever.
For many families, speaking their mother tongue at home is more than just a means of communication, it’s a way to shape identity, strengthen familial bonds and preserve cultural heritage.
Home languages help shape identity, emotional security and cognitive development. We also unpack the benefits of bilingualism, the challenges of language maintenance and strategies for promoting intergenerational connection.
The roots of identity
They say speaking your native language is like breathing — a natural and effortless expression of yourself, a way to convey emotions, thoughts and experiences in a way that’s uniquely yours. And research agrees that language plays a significant role in shaping our sense of identity and belonging.
When children are exposed to their mother tongue from a young age, they’re more likely to develop a strong sense of cultural identity and connection to their heritage. This is important in multilingual or diasporic contexts, where children may be exposed to multiple languages and cultures.
According to ResearchGate, mother tongue languages are “vital in framing the thinking and emotions of people”. Fluency in the mother tongue has numerous benefits, including enhancing cognitive growth as well as facilitating the learning of additional languages.
According to Psychology Today, a child’s understanding of the world is deeply rooted in the language they hear from their mother (or primary caregiver), which lays the foundation for their comprehension and communication skills.
For mom and dad, speaking their mother tongue at home is a way to pass on their cultural values and traditions to their children. It’s a way to share stories, customs and history with the next generation, and to help them develop a sense of belonging to a much larger community.
The mother tongue’s emotional safety
Speaking one’s mother tongue has been shown to have a profound impact on emotional security. When children are able to express themselves in their native language, they feel more confident and secure. They’re able to communicate their thoughts and feelings more effectively, and they’re more likely to develop strong relationships with family.
For example, a child who speaks isiZulu at home feels more confident and secure when expressing herself in her native language. At home, she can tell stories about her day, share jokes and discuss her feelings with her family, strengthening their bond and fostering a sense of belonging.
At school, where she speaks English, she may struggle to express herself as freely, but when she’s back home speaking isiZulu, she can be her authentic self. This connection to her native language helps her develop a strong sense of identity, self-esteem and emotional well-being.
Studies by the National Institutes of Health on the ‘bilingual effects on cognitive and linguistic development’ also suggest that language is closely tied to emotional development. When children are able to express themselves in their mother tongue, they’re better able to regulate their emotions and develop emotional intelligence.
But what happens when parents’ first languages differ? It’s actually a bonus for the kids because these studies further suggest that bilingual children have a cognitive advantage over monolingual children. They are better able to think creatively, solve problems and adapt to new situations. When children are exposed to multiple languages from a young age, they’re more likely to develop cognitive flexibility and a better understanding of language structures.
Keeping your language alive
Despite the many benefits of speaking one’s mother tongue, many families face challenges in maintaining their home language, especially in a world where globalisation and technology dominate our daily lives. Language loss, assimilation pressure and generational language gaps are just a few of the obstacles that families may encounter.
As we navigate through different languages and cultures, it’s easy to lose touch with our roots and forget the nuances of our mother tongue. The challenge lies in balancing the demands of modern life with the need to maintain a strong connection to our linguistic heritage. For instance, many individuals may struggle to find the time and resources to practice their native language, especially if it’s not widely spoken in their community. Moreover, the influence of dominant languages can be overwhelming, making it difficult to resist the temptation to switch to a more widely spoken language.
The mother tongue is a way to pass on cultural values and traditions to children”
5 Psychological benefits of speaking your mother tongue
Strengthens emotional bonds with your family and community.
Helps maintain cultural heritage and identity.
Boosts confidence and self-esteem.
Reduces stress and anxiety.
Supports cognitive development in children.
One of the biggest hurdles is finding opportunities to practice and use our native language in everyday life. With the rise of social media and online communication, many people find themselves defaulting to more widely spoken languages, like English. This can lead to a decline in proficiency and a disconnection from one’s cultural identity. Moreover, the lack of resources and support for minority languages can make it difficult for individuals to access learning materials, cultural events and community programs that would help them preserve their native language.
Despite these challenges, many people are finding creative ways to preserve their native languages and pass them down to future generations. From language immersion programs to cultural festivals and online language-learning platforms, there are numerous initiatives that aim to promote linguistic diversity and cultural heritage.
For instance, some communities are establishing language nests, where children can spend time with fluent speakers and engage in cultural activities that promote language learning. Others are creating online resources, such as video tutorials, podcasts and language learning apps, that cater to specific language needs. Because after all, can you feel fully alive without a language that defines you?
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