How weekly check-ins can help you and your family align

Work commitments, school and extracurricular activities can leave you wondering what’s happening in your family’s lives. Whether you want to iron out problems or just want to catch up, regular family meetings can be the solution to keep your communication flowing again.

WHY HOLD FAMILY MEETINGS?

Let them know what to expect when they meet your family. Share the family dynamics, the quirks, and personalities. What are your parents like? Is your mom going to ask lots of questions? Is your father going to do the whole scary-dad thing? Do they go by their first names, Mr and Mrs So-and-so or Mama and Tata? Give your partner all the details to help them feel more comfortable and confident. It’s also vital to flag any off-limit topics such as politics, religion, gender equality etc.

1

MAKE AN AGENDA

Try to stick to an agenda for every meeting. The key is to get through all the talking points and let everyone feel heard and supported. Start by focusing on the highlights of everyone’s week – laughing together about a funny thing that happened at work may get things going. It is easier to communicate when everyone is in a good mood, and the less-than-desirable topics (like a bad grade on a test) on the itinerary won’t be so daunting to approach. 

2

ENSURE A SAFE SPACE TO OPEN UP

Keep your meetings a no-judgement zone. Parents and kids alike should speak without getting interrupted, or worse, criticised for what they are saying. Is your daughter sharing her feelings about an incident at school? Let her do so freely. Make everyone feel valued by ensuring a safe space to express their feelings, thoughts, achievements, disappointments, and grievances. 

Also read: Why kids should hear old family stories 

3

GET CREATIVE WITH HOW TO ENSURE EVERYONE ATTENDS

It can be tricky to get everyone excited to join the family meeting, let alone attend (looking at you, teenagers). Explain to your kids why they should be there without enforcing a rule (or coming off as preachy). You will have to get creative with your approach. Talk about what you could all do afterwards, like teaming up to play one of their go-to games. Having their favourite snacks on hand won’t hurt either. Although everyone may not be equally excited about your new weekly gathering, they may very well get FOMO and attend any way. 

Also read: How to introduce your family to a new partner 

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