4 THINGS YOUR TEEN NEEDS TO KNOW BEFORE MATRIC RAGE 2019

Your teen has just finished high school and want to let their hair down with friends – here’s the safe, fun and responsible way to do it.

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After all those late nights, study groups and stressful exams, it's understandable that they want to celebrate the end of an old life and the beginning of a new one as a young adult. With the party season right around the corner, it's a good time for you to plan with them well ahead of time to manage their – and your – expectations.

CUTTING APRON STRINGS
Your teen needs to display independence and responsibility. It’s not easy for parents to let go. Centurion-based family counsellor Emily Fourie offers this advice to teens: “I often advise teens to create a balance between responsibility and independence – the more responsibilities they are given, the more freedom your parents will grant you. “If they honour responsibilities such as school work and chores that should be a sign that they are trustworthy. If they are not honouring their responsibilities, they should get less freedom. It’s a fair system, one that requires your teen and you as a parent to play your part," she says.

‘Confiding in one another means you build a strong support system’

BEFORE THE CLOCK STRIKES…
It's important for your teen to remember that they're technically a legal adult but still a child in your eyes. Sit with your teen and set up a plan for their outing. Do it in a calm, reasonable manner that does not get them defensive when you want to check their transport arrangements and the finer details. Try not to come across as controlling or prying – remind them you just want them to be be safe at all times. 

If handled properly, you can create feelings of trust and open communication that will serve you well into your child’s adult years. Ask your teen if you can check with their friends' parents if you are unsure, as this will put your mind at ease. "As a parent, if you don't feel good about certain events or certain friends, you are well within your rights to say no,” says Fourie.



A GUIDE FOR PARENTS
Rule 1: Arrive alive! Those who have been designated to drive to the venue need to do so in reliable vehicles, with responsible drivers whom you know – so that means no drinking along the way. Checking out if there is an option of your teen's group taking the bus is also a good plan.

Rule 2: Home for the holiday. By now the accommodation should have been booked. Nothing keeps a parent up at night like imagining Jabu spending the night on the back seat of a car or on a hard floor. A warm, safe cosy bed contributes to them having a good time and your peace of mind.

Rule 3: More money, more blues. Work out a budget that your teen needs to stick to. There are very few situations in which your teen might find themselves, where having a lot of money will actually help them. Generally, the opposite is true as a teen with a stash of cash may tend to attract trouble, rather than keep trouble at arm’s length.

Rule 4: Your rules and guidelines must be obeyed. They may be on the threshold of their lives but the last thing you want for your teen is for them to do something which gets them badly hurt, arrested or killed, or humiliates and compromises them before they even start living the life they've dreamed of after school. Making sure you are on the same page as your teen is a priority.



PARTY-TIME SAFETY FOR TEENS
Here are some tips and rules to share with your teen:

• They should always tell you where they're going, who they are with and what time they’ll be back – and stick to it!
• Their phone should always be fully charged, with enough airtime to call someone in case of an emergency.
• They should never get into a stranger’s or even an acquaintance’s car to get somewhere. Rather give them a little extra money for a taxi, or offer to fetch them after a party or outing.
• Never leave a drink unattended at a party. Criminals (who can even be people they know), can easily spike their drink with drugs. If they need to go to the bathroom, they should ask a trusted friend to watch over their drink.
• Never eat or drink any substance that you don’t know.
• Always stay in groups – don’t go anywhere without at least one of your closest friends with you.

IS YOUR TEEN A RESPONSIBLE TEENAGER?
Check below to see if they're trustworthy.

1. Do they honour their word? If they do what they say they will do, that’s a great sign. This means they have given thought to what they say and keeping promises is a priority.

2. Admit to mistakes. If they tell the truth even when they know that it will get them into trouble, chances are that they're responsible. Admitting to mistakes is difficult even for you as an adult, so it’s an admirable quality.

3. Helpful hand. If they're willing to help and be supportive when needed, it shows that not only do they have empathy but also the maturity to think about others, not just themselves.

4. Acceptance of consequences. Accepting the repercussions of actions shows that they understand – and take responsibility for – the role they’ve played in a situation.

5. Genuine apologies. Teens are known for half-hearted apologies but if they apologise sincerely it shows they've learned something.