5 QUESTIONS YOU SHOULD ASK YOUR MOTHER, MENTOR, DOCTOR AND LANDLORD

5 Questions You Should Ask your mother, mentor, doctor and landlord

---

YOUR MOM

How long did it take you to fall pregnant?
If your mom struggled to conceive, you might be at a higher risk of similar difficulties – especially if her problem was to do with ovulation or endometriosis (a condition that causes tissue to grow outside the uterus), both of which have strong genetic links. If you discover a family history of fertility issues, see your doctor if you aren’t pregnant within six months of trying to conceive.

How healthy was your mom?
You might have been too young to remember your gogo’s brush with depression, or how she changed her diet after being told she was at risk of diabetes. Many diseases have a strong link on the maternal side (including osteoporosis, heart disease and some cancers). Knowing your gran’s medical history could prompt you to make lifestyle changes long before any symptoms appear.

Do you have a will?
This one goes for your dad as well. Death and money are probably two of the hardest conversations you’ll ever have with your parents, but knowing the answers while they are still alive means less admin when you are grieving. And while you’re having this conversation, touch on a few other questions such as ‘Where are your important documents?’ and ‘Do you want to be buried or cremated?’ if you don’t already know. Then share a nice soothing cup of tea!

What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done?
This opens the door to a conversation that could help you if and when you deal with something similar – whether it’s about becoming a mother, getting a divorce or struggling to assert herself at work – without the baggage that comes with asking ‘What’s your biggest regret?’

What can I do for you now?
Whether the answer is ‘teach me how to download music’ or ‘stop dropping your kids off every Saturday night’, giving your mom the chance to tell you exactly what she wants and needs from you will beat any Mother’s Day gift you could give her!

YOUR MENTOR (OR THE PERSON WHOSE JOB YOU WANT ONE DAY)



What was your breakthrough moment?
Whether it was taking a job that didn’t pay as much but offered a great working environment, or signing up for a pricey but worthwhile course – find out the moment when things started working out for them.

What was your biggest stumbling block?
It might be hard to imagine they ever struggled with poor decisions or missed opportunities, but chances are they did. Asking them about these will reassure you about your path and give you a new perspective on small failures.

‘Who should I take to lunch?’
By asking the names of five people you should get in touch with, you’ll have a wider network of contacts as well as an idea of who your mentor values and respects.

What’s one thing I’m doing wrong?
Chances are, if you ask for a list of things you’re doing wrong, they’ll shy away from answering that minefield of a question. So ask for just one thing you could do differently and they’ll feel better about being honest.

How do you find inspiration?
Ask for specifics – is it a particular TED lecture they watch over and over, or a person who never fails to get them motivated? Find out what and who inspires them to break the monotony of everyday business.

YOUR DOCTOR



Is this really necessary?
While your doctor might want to cover his or her back by doing every test under the sun, ask them to explain why a test they’re prescribing is necessary, and how it’ll help you.

What does this medicine do?
You go to the doctor for a cough (or rash, or stomach bug) and you walk out with a prescription to treat the problem – but how often do you know how or why it’ll work? So ask.

Am I at a healthy weight?
If you’re concerned about your weight, ask your doctor. You’ll get the answer you need to hear, without the drama that comes with hearing it from your mother, sister or partner!

Do you offer a discount?
You’ve got nothing to lose by asking for a discount or alternative payment plan. Take this advice from a colleague: ‘I was straightforward; I said I couldn’t afford the rate he charged, and asked whether we could work out a payment plan. Turns out he could.’

Who would you send your mother to see?
If your doctor is referring you to another specialist, ask them to send you to the person they’d trust with the health of their mother (and not the colleague who is conveniently in the same hospital).

YOUR LANDLORD



Is there anything I need to know about the neighbourhood/neighbours?
Before you sign on the dotted line, find out if there’s any reason you might not want to live there – for example, the next-door neighbour is a drummer who practises late into the night. Or the guy on the corner moonlights as a motor mechanic over weekends and has lots of noisy machinery.

What is covered by my rent?
Find out whether you will still be liable to pay for water and electricity, or whether they are included in your rent.

Are pets allowed?
Even if you currently don’t have any pets, ask the question in case one day you want to get one. You don’t want to get into a nasty situation down the line with the landlord telling you to get rid of your dog or leave. On the same note, ask whether you are allowed to have friends or guests staying over, as some landlords don’t allow it.

How much deposit must I pay, and will I get it back if I leave everything as I found it?
Having asked that, make a list of any defects such as cracked windows, scratches on surfaces or loose hinges, so you can’t be held accountable for them and lose your deposit when you leave.

Can I have that in writing?
This should be standard, but make sure you get everything down on paper so that you don’t get into a ‘he said, she said’ situation if things go wrong.