5 REASONS YOU’VE BEEN GHOSTED AND HOW TO MOVE ON

Ghosting is a term used when someone simply stops responding to you, and while this could happen with a friendship, it’s more common in a new romance, so, have you been ghosted?

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To unpack that loaded question, let’s rewind to the beginning. You’ve just met someone who you think is ah-mah-zing. You’ve gone on a date that could easily be the best one of your life. You both hit it off, and you think, “Finally! The stars have aligned! This must be it!”

You imagine your happily ever after and start practicing your new signature because coincidentally, their surname is the perfect match to your name – it must be fate!

And then... you send them text after text after text and wait for a response. You think they’re probably in a meeting. An hour passes. Then three. Then a day. One week later, and there’s still no response. This is called ghosting, and sadly, if this has happened to you, you’ve been ghosted.

If you’re looking for answers you’ve come to the right place. Here are a few reasons why you’ve been ghosted.

1. You came across too strongly and that’s just not for them
When you’ve just started dating someone and constantly text them with messages of adoration, it’s possible that you may have come across too strongly, and scared them off. This may be your way of showing someone how much you like them, but the person on the other end might just see it as being too clingy. They might feel that all of your attention is just a little too much too soon.

If this is naturally who you are, the right person will reciprocate these feelings in a heartbeat. But to someone who is on a different wavelength, this might leave them feeling smothered and uncomfortable.

2. They don’t want the same things you do
You might be looking for something meaningful, while they simply want to have fun. They may even be dating multiple people and just not keen or ready for an exclusive relationship yet. If this is the case, it’s better to cut your losses now and move on. This type of person is just in a different mindset.



3. They’re trying to let you down easily
They might not know how to tell you, but the reason they’ve been ghosting you is to avoid letting you know how they really feel about you. When someone ghosts you, it’s more about them than about you. In this instance, they may not know how to handle uncomfortable conversations, especially ones that might cause you pain. To the person ghosting you, avoidance is the easier way out.

4. There’s a lot more going on with them than you know
They might be depressed and very good at hiding what’s really going on. Perhaps they are trying to deal with painful life events that you don’t know about, and want to prioritise dealing with that trauma before jumping into a committed relationship. To this ghost, you were not first on their priority list and you never will be until they are in a good, healthy place emotionally and ready to let someone else in.

5. You may have accidentally been too distant
Many women are especially guilty of this, believing that it’s the other person’s responsibility to pursue them. But if we’re honest, who doesn’t love knowing that someone is thinking of them or that someone wants to see them? Perhaps the ghost felt that you were not putting in as much effort as they were or even worse, that you were not that interested in them.

There’s always light at the end of the tunnel
It’s important to remember that ghosting says more about the person who is doing the ghosting than about you. For example, it could tell you that they lack the emotional maturity to discuss tougher subjects with you. Or that they aren’t ready to have a healthy, meaningful relationship that requires real communication and real discussions – no matter how difficult those discussions may be. If you’re having trouble moving on, here are a few tips that could help:

1. Don’t call, text or email
You’ve been hurt once before by this ghost, and if you manage to get hold of them, they will probably hurt you again. Let yourself heal by cutting off contact completely, and if you’re struggling to do that, ask yourself if it’s really worth getting hurt again.



2. Don’t blame yourself
It’s never easy to get rejected, but it’s important that you deal with it in a healthy way. Don’t blame yourself for not being ‘their one and only’. You two simply were not a match and that’s okay. All it means is that your love match is still out there.

3. Give yourself time to process your feelings
Try not to obsess about their reasons for ghosting you. Constantly asking yourself questions like, “Why didn’t it work out?”, “What could I have done differently?”, “Why didn’t he say something sooner?”. You can’t answer for them and trying to will only leave more gaps to fill. Instead, focus on yourself. Let yourself feel the pain, hurt, anger and any other emotions that you’re experiencing. Have a good cry if you need to and then focus on ways to heal emotionally.



Always remember...
You are worthy of love and respect, and your ghost just wasn’t on your level. Cut your losses and start again. Don’t let one bad experience stop you from finding a good, loving relationship, the type you deserve.

Sources: https://psychcentral.com
https://www.psychologytoday.com
https://www.lamag.com