Can men and women just be friends? This is perhaps one of the most popular questions of all time. We see this scene played out in romance movies and the result is always the same – someone catches feelings and if the other doesn’t reciprocate, that may be the end of the friendship, or at least a comfortable one. But what’s it like in real life?
It’s almost impossible not to develop a friendship with the opposite gender. We work together, socialise together and may even live together. You only really have a problem when one of you become attracted to the other – physically or emotionally – and your feelings are not reciprocated.
The truth is that when you share similar interests with someone, a friendship tends to develop. You may be a woman who has a strong interest in wrestling, for example, and you find that not many, if any, of your female friends share this passion. So, one day you join a club and find like-minded people, many of which are men. And sometimes having the opinion or point of view of the opposite gender could be refreshing – you may even learn a thing or two.
Depending on the stage of life you’re in, you may not mind if your male friend develops feelings for you, even if you don’t share those same feelings. For example, if you have a significant other who finds it difficult to understand your need to be friends with a certain male friend, this may cause problems in your relationship. And that may not be something you want, especially if you think your significant other could be ‘the one’.
So, how do you navigate this new friendship and make sure that it stays strictly platonic? Here are a few tips to help you develop trusting, long-lasting platonic friendships that both you and your partner are comfortable with:
1. WHAT YOU SAY AND DO IS IMPORTANT
You should never behave any differently to how you would, if your partner were there. If you find yourself being a little flirtatious or touching your friend, even in a friendly manner, that may be crossing the line and sending the wrong message to your friend.
2. COMPLAINING ABOUT YOUR PARTNER IS A BIG NO-NO
Asking for your friend’s advice now and then might not seem like a big deal to you, but if those complaints become everything you talk about, that’s a completely different story and not something you should entertain.
3. NEVER COMPARE YOUR PARTNER TO YOUR FRIEND AND VICE VERSA
When you’re living with someone you see all of them – when they’re at their happiest, laughing and having a good time and when they’re at their lowest. When you see your friend, you’re only seeing their fun side. Comparing your partner to your ‘fun’ friend will only leave a bitter taste in their mouth.
4. BUILD TRUST BY SHOWING YOUR PARTNER THEY ARE JUST A FRIEND
Next time you get together for an ‘after-work’ catch up, why not invite your partner? You could show him that your friend really is just your friend and that he has no reason not to trust you.
Related article: How to deal with your jealous
5. EVERYTHING NEEDS A BOUNDARY
You might not have everything in common with your partner – and that’s okay. Your platonic friendship exists because of a common interest that you might not share with your partner – and that’s okay too. A problem arises when you start mistaking the banter you share for romantic feelings.
Related article: How to improve your relationship
6. BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF
Physical attraction to a friend is not the only factor that could put stress on a relationship. If you find that your platonic friendship is developing into an emotional affair, where you would prefer spending time with your friend, rather than your partner, you may in be in trouble.
At the end of the day it boils down to communication – with your partner as well as your friend. If you’re honest about your feelings and what you’d like from the respective relationship, there should never be any reason for blurred lines. And if it so happens that your friends wants – or needs – something more from you that you are not comfortable with, well, that’s a decision that you need to make for yourself as well as for the stability of your relationship with your partner.
2. COMPLAINING ABOUT YOUR PARTNER IS A BIG NO-NO
Asking for your friend’s advice now and then might not seem like a big deal to you, but if those complaints become everything you talk about, that’s a completely different story and not something you should entertain.
3. NEVER COMPARE YOUR PARTNER TO YOUR FRIEND AND VICE VERSA
When you’re living with someone you see all of them – when they’re at their happiest, laughing and having a good time and when they’re at their lowest. When you see your friend, you’re only seeing their fun side. Comparing your partner to your ‘fun’ friend will only leave a bitter taste in their mouth.
4. BUILD TRUST BY SHOWING YOUR PARTNER THEY ARE JUST A FRIEND
Next time you get together for an ‘after-work’ catch up, why not invite your partner? You could show him that your friend really is just your friend and that he has no reason not to trust you.
Related article: How to deal with your jealous
5. EVERYTHING NEEDS A BOUNDARY
You might not have everything in common with your partner – and that’s okay. Your platonic friendship exists because of a common interest that you might not share with your partner – and that’s okay too. A problem arises when you start mistaking the banter you share for romantic feelings.
Related article: How to improve your relationship
6. BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF
Physical attraction to a friend is not the only factor that could put stress on a relationship. If you find that your platonic friendship is developing into an emotional affair, where you would prefer spending time with your friend, rather than your partner, you may in be in trouble.
At the end of the day it boils down to communication – with your partner as well as your friend. If you’re honest about your feelings and what you’d like from the respective relationship, there should never be any reason for blurred lines. And if it so happens that your friends wants – or needs – something more from you that you are not comfortable with, well, that’s a decision that you need to make for yourself as well as for the stability of your relationship with your partner.
OPPOSITE GENDER FRIENDSHIPS: HOW NOT TO HURT YOUR PARTNER
Reviewed by Michelle Pienaar
on
September 27, 2021
Rating:
Reviewed by Michelle Pienaar
on
September 27, 2021
Rating:
