HOW TO BEAT THE FESTIVE SEASON BLUES

The festive season is normally a time for holiday cheer, but for many, the holidays can be sad, lonely and financially stressful. We take a look at ways to cope and how to help if a loved one is taking strain.

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The festive season is known as the ‘season to be jolly’, but for some people it’s just the opposite. Feelings of anxiety, loneliness and depression may become more intense and, sadly, the number of suicides and attempted suicides increases during this time, worldwide.

Life tends to throw us curve balls, and this has been particularly true of the last 20 months. And a time normally devoted to thanksgiving may feel completely overwhelming in the face of a job loss, the death of a loved one or having to break from regular traditions and isolate from friends and family.

Many people may find a two or three-week holiday, without colleagues and work activities to keep them busy, daunting. On the flipside, having to entertain family you may not necessarily like or get on with, can also cause a great deal of anxiety and stress. In addition, catering for family and buying gifts and food can create financial stress that often lingers long after the festivities are over.

Related article: How to help you save money over the holidays



MANAGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS
Johannesburg-based life coach and counsellor Tracey Pinder believes much of the stress associated with the festive season is the result of unrealistic expectations, as our wishes and wants don’t gel with reality. You might want to splash out on expensive gifts for everyone in the family – or throw a huge, lavish party that everyone will remember well into the new year – but the reality is you might not be able to afford it, so rather focus your attention on what is possible.

It’s often better to shift a gear and expect less than set yourself up for disappointment. Look back to the last two or three December holidays and take the time to figure out what worked and what didn’t and adapt your plans accordingly. Maybe it’s time to create new traditions or breathe new life into old routines.



MAKE SELF-CARE A PRIORITY
Self-care is not about spoiling yourself every now and then, it’s about taking care of yourself every day. Practical ways of doing so include getting enough sleep, eating healthily and avoiding binge drinking. Alcohol affects your mood, and overindulging may worsen seasonal depression or lead to risk-taking behaviour. Pinder suggests being mindful of how your day-to-day activities make you feel. A simple way to track this is by taking note of three principles: achievement, closeness to others and enjoyment. ‘Try to establish a balance between these three,’ she advises. ‘Keep a log of those activities that give you a sense of achievement (completing a task successfully), closeness to others (spending quality time with a relative or friend) and enjoyment (reading a book, watching a movie or doing anything else you enjoy).’

“Self-care is not about spoiling yourself every now and then, it’s about taking care of yourself every day.”

OTHER TIPS TO BEAT THE BLUES

• Avoid overcommitting time and finances: share the load and pool resources when it comes to planning and catering for festive events.
• Use your holiday time constructively: tackle a few chores you may not have had time to do during the year. For example, decluttering your home is a great way to take stock of what you have, donate what you don’t need, and start the new year with a fresh sense of purpose.
• Find ways to support your community through volunteering at an old-age facility, children’s home or animal shelter.
• Return to gratitude by acknowledging your gifts. When the blues hit, it may be hard to feel grateful, but this is one of the best ways to lift the spirits. Focusing on everything you have to be grateful for gives you a fresh perspective.
• If you’re aware that a family member or friend is having a tough time, reach out to them by arranging to take them to a movie, preparing a care package for them, volunteering together, or encouraging them to talk to a professional. SADAG offers telephonic advice and counselling should anyone need it.

Related article: Common causes of holiday relationship issues

WHO TO CALL FOR HELP IF YOU AREN’T COPING:

South Africa
SADAG: 011 262 6396; toll-free suicide line: 0800 12 13 14

For a list of other helplines:
Lifeline: 0861 322 322

Gender Violence Hotline: 0800 150 150

Botswana
Botswana Network for Mental Health

Lesotho
Lesotho Depression Helpline

Namibia
Lifeline/Childline Namibia

Eswatini Mbabane Mental Health
Support Group

Related article: What is mental illness?