HERE’S HOW TO MAKE MIDDLE AGE THE BEST TIME OF YOUR LIFE

In your forties, the world may not look as fresh, exciting, and full of possibilities as it did 20 years before but that doesn’t mean your best years are over. You just have to find new purpose and re-examine your goals and values. Here’s a summary of what experts suggest to help you get there.

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There are studies that rate happiness through our life on a U-shape, with the low part being middle age. One UK survey ranked people at their unhappiest in their 40s and 50s. Another study zooms in on 47 as the year of greatest discontent. The good news is that by their 60s most people recover their general sense of well-being.

So what’s the problem? He felt a “constant drizzle of disappointment” when he was middle-aged, writes author Onathan Rauch in his book The Real Roots of Midlife Crisis. He believes we tend to see middle-aged life as "a challenge to overcome rather than an adventure to be enjoyed”.

You can feel great in your forties and fifties. Here are some pointers.

Do you
You’re not a statistic, so you don’t have to crash at 45 just because popular culture says you will. Examine your goals and find your true self.

Lean into fear, not boredom
Most of us become competent at our work by our 40s, and then we have to choose between playing it safe and taking a risk. Howard Stevenson, a former professor at Harvard Business School, believes the greatest source of unhappiness in work is risk aversion. "There's a difference between 20 years of experience, and one year of experience 20 times", he says. Don’t just chuck out everything – think carefully how you can shape the rest of your career so that it fits your skills, personality, and talent.

Related article: Here’s how to make a mid-life career change with ease

Work through the bad stuff
If there are demons you haven’t faced or skeletons you buried deep in the closet, take care of them. Sort them, throw them out and find the peace and joy you deserve.

Invest in what makes you happy
Make time for your friends. Make new friends. Spend time on hobbies and passions and find people to share them with. Invest time and energy in what matters to you.

Be real about expectations
You wanted a PhD by 30, but it didn't happen. Maybe it was never a realistic achievement for you? Don’t torture yourself. Look at what you did accomplish, the joys you’ve had and what you could still do.

Live for the moment
Instead of thinking of life as tasks you're supposed to complete – promotion, house, kids – see life as possibilities. We tend to berate ourselves when we don’t hit traditional life markers and to stress about them when we do. Life is an adventure, and you’ve still got a lot of it ahead of you.



Accept your changing self
You can’t change what you can’t control. A study by the University of Hertfordshire found that people who accept their lives are happier than those who are constantly trying to change themselves. A new sense of perspective is one benefit of middle age.

Related article: Tips to keep skin youthful in your forties

Schedule weekly visits with friends
Researchers at the University of Southampton followed young adults into their later years and found those who were outgoing and sociable were the happiest and most satisfied with their lives.

Spend more time with your kids
According to researchers at the University of Texas, it’s not money that helps people find happiness, but rather the support of family. Don't underestimate the power of bonds with loved ones.

Appreciate small things
Accept that life is all about change and that you haven’t hit your ceiling. Things will change again – and so will you. Knowing this will make it easier to handle your life’s realities.

Related article: 10 must-read books by African authors and important lessons we can all learn