DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE?

Have you developed a strong sense of who you are, or are you still working on it? We’ve got some food for thought.

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Do you know who you are? Think carefully before answering this question. But don’t panic if you aren’t able to give a definitive answer.

“You will never know yourself completely all the time,” says Senzekile Shongwe, community manager and senior counsellor at October Health. “It’s okay to feel like you do not know yourself at certain periods of your life, because who you are is not fixed. You are always evolving, based on what is happening in your life and your general life experience.”

At those times when you might ‘feel lost’, allow yourself to go on a journey of introspection and self-discovery, she advises. “Remember, self-discovery is a life-long process. Who you are now is not the same person you were 10 years ago.”

CHARACTER VERSUS PERSONALITY
Senzekile says we are all born with specific characteristics that shape our character (which is not the same as our personality), and when we embark on a journey of self-discovery, we need to understand our innate character.

Self-discovery and connecting with your fundamental character, she says, requires you to focus on four things: emotional, mental, spiritual and physical well-being, all of which are interconnected.

Your spiritual well-being should not be confused with religion. “Knowing yourself on a spiritual level is about knowing and understanding your internal world, which is often referred to as your ‘inner child’. his refers to the fundamental characteristics you were born with that shape how you internalise and process life, and that in turn informs who you show up as in the world.”

Then there is your mindset or mental health, which is constantly shifting depending on the situation you are in. “You need to monitor it by checking in with yourself often, throughout the day, in order to understand how you are feeling.”

For example, you may know or come to realise that certain situations make you feel anxious, because when you are experiencing them, you can’t concentrate and feel panicked, which can manifest physically as shallow breathing, sweaty palms or stomach cramps.

DON’T TRY TO FIT IN
Senzekile says it’s important to address all four aspects of your being to have a holistic view of yourself and to understand your personality.

In the process, “Do not allow society and the world around you to determine who you are. Take charge of who you are, because if you are consistent with who you are, guess what? The world will adjust to who you are,” she says.

“You can adjust and take different approaches to specific people and situations, but you shouldn’t change your fundamental characteristics, because that is self-abandonment.”

This may be challenging in the current world we live in, where factors like race, culture, gender and sexuality shape how we are raised, the society we live in and our professional lives.

However, Senzekile says that self-discovery is important because it “cultivates self-trust and self-awareness and will help you live an authentic life”, and that, in turn, will result in healthier spiritual, mental, emotional and physical well-being. When embarking on a journey of self-discovery, you can utilise several tools, including counselling, therapy, meditation, journalling or exercise and physical activities like walking. “Explore activities that allow you to spend time with yourself to self-reflect and get in touch with your inner world.”

THE ULTIMATE PODCAST LIST
Tools to help you on your journey of self-discovery.

On Purpose with Jay Shetty
The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Wisdom & Wellness with Mpoomy Ledwaba

The Mel Robbins Podcast With Mel Robbins
Meet Me In My Corner with Dr K
Modern Wisdom with Chris Williamson
The Daily Motivation with Lewis Howes

A HELP-YOURSELF READING LIST

Coming home to yourself by Yvette Ratshikhopha
365 questions, one page per day: a one-year self-discovery journey the power of now by Eckhart Tolle
How to meet yourself by Dr Nicole LePera
Why has nobody told me this before? by Dr Julie Smith

Know yourself: A book of questions by Irene Smit and Astrid van der Hulst
Inward by Yung Pueblo
Atomic habits by James Clear

Words by: Thando Pato
Photo: Gallo/Getty Images