On her quest to find love Qiniso van Damme is now Mzansi’s first-ever bachelorette! With all the drama that happens in the mansion, we can’t wait to see what unfolds and who ends up with the last rose.
Qiniso was a firm fan favourite in the first-ever season of The Bachelor SA last year. She turned heads with her flawless beauty, infectious smile, and that loud but adorable laugh she has. Although the model and actress didn’t end up with the bachelor Marc Bruckner, she never gave up on finding love. Not only was she chosen to become the first-ever bachelorette in Africa, but she’s also the 3rd woman of colour in the world to earn her own season. Qiniso has two degrees under her belt and is currently completing her Masters in Social Anthropology at the University of Cape Town. She’s full of life with a vibrant aura, mixed with a strong bold character, she knows what she wants and goes after it.
She gave us a few minutes of her time and the inside scoop on what to expect in this season of The Bachelorette.
HOW HAVE YOU HANDLED THE PRESSURE OF BEING THE FIRST-EVER SA BACHELORETTE?
It’s a huge responsibility to be the first-ever bachelorette in the African continent and the 3rd woman of colour in the world. I’ve been focusing more on just being my best self because as women of colour we shine and that happens with everything we touch. So I have been working on channelling my inner queen and bringing love and my authentic self to this season.
HOW HAS YOUR JOURNEY ON THE BACHELOR PREPARED YOU FOR THIS?
I can say the show equipped me with extra compassion towards the contestants that I think maybe Marc (the bachelor) might not have had with us girls on The Bachelor season 1.
He did not experience what it was like being in The Bachelor mansion, sleeping on bunk beds, what it feels like to be called for a date, living with all these people, and trying to keep your focus on finding love. I think having gone through that experience, I have a better perception of the sacrifices that the gentlemen have made to be on the show with me. I felt very privileged and humbled just by their bravery. My heart is completely open and I feel I exercise the patience and care they need, the kind I didn’t get access to while in the mansion.
WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO JOIN AND BE A CONTESTANT ON THE BACHELOR SA?
Well, I had given up on finding any South African man that would have the same goals as me, such as settle down, have kids, and want to just dream big with me. A man who would not be afraid or intimidated by my shine and having a strong powerful woman by their side. I’ve been in this dating game and I was like yho this is my last shot! Then that door was sadly shut and you know what, God showed up and opened another door for me. I was given the crème de la crème of good gentlemen in this country and that restored my hope in finding a good guy. That is what I hope my story and my journey teach other women. It should help women find love again, rekindle relationships, women in South Africa have been through a lot from suffered traumas such as GBV and so much unfairness. It’s wonderful to see that there are still good men out there.
WHILE ON THE SHOW, WHAT DID YOU LEARN ABOUT YOURSELF AND WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR IN A POTENTIAL HUSBAND OR PARTNER?
I don’t have a shopping list for the kind of guy I am looking for. I don’t seek out specific things when I’m socialising or meeting up with someone. I went on the show with no expectations. I look out for qualities such as honesty, trust, kindness, and just general normal human being qualities that every person should have. I want them to surprise me. The bar I’ve previously had in terms of my relationship style and my perceptions of how I want to be loved and treated was Marc (The Bachelor), and that was a really important thing because when you lose hope in the dating scene you think that maybe you’re impossible or difficult to be around. You start thinking that you’re the problem. And that is not necessarily true, it’s just that you have been looking in the wrong places.
WHAT ARE YOU NOW LOOKING FOR IN A POTENTIAL LOVE-MATCH?
Well, first of all, they need to be human lol! I’m not bothered about what race they are. If they are tall then perfect, if they are medium height then eish that’s okay too. For me, it’s not a big deal what their exterior is like, what matters is if they have a good heart and that they see women for the goddesses they are. I always look out for beautiful and positive energy around someone. Some people have an x-factor – something that draws you to them more than others.
WHAT WOULD BE THE BEST WAY TO IMPRESS YOU?
I’m very much impressed by authenticity and for someone to be themselves 100%. If I fall in love with the version of you versus the person that you are, that’s a lie, and that would be breaking one of my biggest rules. My name is Qiniso which means truth so if you are going to come to me as a lie, then we have a problem. So authenticity is a big deal to me, someone who is free to laugh out loud just like me, and just gooi it out there. If you’re shy and quiet, then that’s just who you are but you should be okay with me being loud, weird, and always myself. People like me, tend to shush themselves down and dim our lights. We try not to be loud sometimes because other people cannot handle it. The Bachelor taught me that if you can’t handle when someone is just who they are, then you have no reason to be seeking love! There’s no other way I know how to be than myself.
WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO HANDLE THE COCKTAIL PARTY DRAMA ON THE BACHELORETTE?
Honestly, I believe everyone deserves a chance and I wouldn’t feel good having to leave a cocktail party without giving someone the chance to speak to me or at least acknowledge that person. I understand the sacrifices that they have made to be there because I too have had to make the same sacrifices – twice. I had to leave my job, my family, leave my plant babies behind, and go do this thing. So I try to hold the cringe as much as I can in terms of the guys vying for my attention and pulling me aside.
DO YOU HAVE A STRATEGY ON HOW YOU WILL LET GO OF CONTESTANTS?
I just listen to my intuition and my heart. If I feel someone is overly arrogant or misbehaving in some way and pick up traits that I don’t like, I pay attention to that. For me, it’s a genuine connection. I don’t have a formula when the rose ceremony comes, I just go with what I’m feeling.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO THE MOST ON THE SHOW?
I’m hoping to find love and also to show women out there that it’s okay to put yourself out there for love. You cannot say you want a relationship and partner but you’re not doing anything about it. Why can’t you be the one who buys a drink at a bar? Why can’t it be a girl that asks a guy out on a date? Every single guy that I’ve dated has been because I’ve had to go and approach them. That is the reality for me as I might come across as intimidating because of my personality. I also don’t want people to lose hope in love, especially now with the Covid-19 pandemic. You can find love if you keep your heart open, there is still hope. I was lucky to meet some incredible men, right here in SA.
WHAT IS YOUR MESSAGE TO THE LADIES OF MZANSI LOOKING FOR LOVE?
Women often compromise their standards and settle for less just to be in a relationship. It’s because most of us decide to not put ourselves out there, instead, we’re waiting for someone to come and get us. And for me, joining The Bachelor was an ‘I’m going out there to get my man’ moment. I was like, I can’t ask God to deliver a man to me if I am not chasing. I have to chase and make sure that the prayers I have are answered.
5 FUN FACTS ABOUT QINISO
- I love poetry! Reading and writing have always been my passion. I’m working on a poetry book that is based on female adolescence and navigating through life.
- I’m doing my master’s degree in Social Anthropology.
- I love cheese curls, that’s my guilty pleasure.
- I also love Star Trek! I’m a sci-fi girl and don’t like romcoms at all.
- I love being in the mountain and around nature. That’s where I go to have my conversations with God and the universe and to just appreciate life.
QINISO VAN DAMME: SEARCHING FOR LOVE ON THE BACHELORETTE SA!
Reviewed by Michelle Pienaar
on
February 16, 2021
Rating:
Reviewed by Michelle Pienaar
on
February 16, 2021
Rating:
