SHARENTING: WHAT DOES IT MEAN AND ARE YOU DOING IT?

Many proud parents love to share cute pics of their new babies or young children on social media. But even if only friends or family are supposed to see them, it’s important to think twice before uploading. Here’s why.

---

Parents used to make baby books, scrapbooks, and photo albums about their kids. These days, they post those pics (and videos) on social media. So what’s the difference?

Think how those books and albums were shared. Parents decided which family members and friends they wanted to share them with. If a stranger felt like looking at them, parents could decide to show – or not.

If a kid got older and found some photos were embarrassing, parents could take them out and tear them up.

Not anymore. What goes on the internet, stays on the internet. Unless you take steps to keep your feeds safe, anyone can see some or all of it. What’s more, you can’t be sure that the "cringe" pic is completely gone even if you delete it.

Research shows most children are likely to have a digital footprint before their first birthday. It could start with an ultrasound image or a birth announcement photo. The UK site Parent Zone found that by the time their child turns five, the average parent will have uploaded more than 1 000 pictures of them.

THE DANGERS
The most obvious threat is sexual predators, so never post images of kids nude or half-dressed.

Some experts feel it’s also wise not to ask advice on social media for any sensitive issues with your children – misbehaviour, school struggles, or psychological problems. That could open a door for bullying later on. Besides, there are trusted websites where you can get expert advice or reach out to support groups.



Even when parents think a picture is adorable or harmless, their child might feel differently later on. In 2016 an 18-year-old Austrian sued her parents for posting more than 500 pictures of her, including awkward baby moments. In 2018 an Italian court judged that a mum would face a hefty fine if she uploaded more pictures of her 16-year-old son, who sued her after his parents got divorced.

Last year, a Dutch court ordered a woman to take down pics of her grandchildren on social media since she didn’t have their mother’s permission.

DATA THEFT
Most kids won't go that far but may feel their privacy wasn’t respected when they go on social media for the first time and see their entire life there.

Data brokers are constantly (and legally) selling information from social media accounts to third parties, such as retailers. They do it with kids as well. The danger here is identity theft and scams.

It is estimated that by 2030 more than 66% of identity fraud cases will have resulted from sharenting. So be sure your pictures and captions don’t reveal personal details such as a full name and birth date or the school your child goes to.

Related article: 11 Signs you’re overparenting and why it’s a bad thing

WHAT TO DO
Sharenting isn’t the problem, says Caroline Knorr, senior parenting editor at Common Sense Media, it’s how you do it. “It’s not wrong to share pictures of your kids or updates about your family. But parents should be careful about it.”

Make sure your social media accounts are private, she advises. “Most social media is public by default. This… puts the burden on the user to go in and change it.”

Make sure you limit who can see posts on any platform. You can change that in the account settings. Use Google’s family link to get an alert when your child’s name appears online.

Never share your child's location. You can disable location functions when sharing images. Don't give clues about places you visit frequently. Never share your child's full name.

SHARE WITH CARE
Don’t use social media as your photo album. Keep those precious pictures private in cloud storage or, even better, on your own hard drive.

Don’t tell your child’s life story post by post. People change, values change and things can look very different out of context. You’ve seen stories about public figures who are attacked for ancient messages or images someone dug up.



If your child will be in someone else's care for a while – granny, school, friends, anyone – let them know how you feel about sharing photos of your children.

Related article: Single moms share their tips for solo parenting

"When we post on social media, we are opening the doors to our homes and virtually letting too many people enter our private lives,” says Raychelle Cassada Lohmann, a US clinical mental health counsellor.

“Our children’s lives and experiences aren’t worth sharing with an online audience. We should treasure special moments and share them with those who have our kid’s best interest at heart."

Related article: Tips for first-time parents

Useful link: Find out what social media might be sharing about you and get useful safety tips at Privacy Rights Clearinghouse (https://privacyrights.org/consumer-guides/social-networking-privacy-how-be-safe-secure-and-social)

Sources: https://www.nbcnews.com, https://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk, https://www.healthychildren.org, https://www.theatlantic.com, https://www.care.com,https://www.qustodio.com, https://www.lifelock.com, https://www.humanium.org.