EMPTY NEST SYNDROME EXPLAINED, PLUS WHAT TO DO

Shipping your child off to tertiary education is challenging, but it can be a positive experience for both of you. Try our tips to prepare for this transition.

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SO, THEY’RE LEAVING THE NEST?
Will your child know how to take public transport? Do they know how to budget for groceries? Will it be easy enough to contact them?

Thinking about your child leaving the comfort of home to go away and study may cause you to feel anxious. The move is inevitable and there’s only so much both of you can do to prepare before they finally leave the nest...

PLAN, PLAN, PLAN
Ease your worries by sorting out the basics. Help your child to arrange transport routes, a monthly budget and where they will be staying during their studies. Take them shopping for essentials such as toiletries, clothing, snacks and stationery.

Familiarise yourself with the area and city they will be living in, in case of emergencies, and agree on modes and frequency of communication.

LOOSEN THE REINS
Planning may put you at ease but interfering too much can make them feel overwhelmed. Allow your child to practice some independence so they can undergo a few of the necessary growing pains under your watch. Don’t insist on doing things for them; rather allow them to come to you if they need help.

For example, don’t tell them what to choose when shopping, and don’t micro-manage their packing. They will be more likely to come to you for advice when they need it if you’re not always hovering.

Don’t insist on doing things FOR THEM. They will be more likely to come to you for advice IF YOU’RE NOT HOVERING.

KEEP CALM
No matter how excited your child may be, underneath they are likely to be feeling nervous or even worried. If they see that you’re teary or going to pieces regularly about how much you’ll miss them, it puts even more pressure on them.

Try to stay upbeat and speak about how exciting this new adventure in their life will be. Talk about the positive aspects and let them know you’ll be okay while they’re gone.

BECOME TECH-SAVVY
Keeping in touch is as easy as tapping a button. Missing your child at dinner time? Place your tablet or phone on the table and have a virtual meal together. Create a family WhatsApp group for sharing pictures and updates, to keep everyone in the loop.

Ideally, schedule your phone calls at a specific time every week rather than cold calling your child. This ensures you are in regular contact without pressuring them to talk to you all the time or making them feel that you’re checking up on them at inconvenient times.

TAKE IT A DAY AT A TIME
Parents commonly go through “empty nest syndrome” when their kids leave home. You’ve likely spent 18 years or more with your child within shouting distance, so it is normal to feel anxious and anticipate missing them.

Think of this transition as an opportunity to have more time for yourself and to tap into other parts of your life. Take up a new hobby, reconnect with old friends and spend more time with your partner.

And when you are missing them, take it one day at a time! There will be some growing pains for the parents and the child, but you can work through it together.

Text by: Aaqeelah Floris
Images: Shutterstock