THE SECRET TO MANAGING A BLENDED FAMILY

You’ve planned for months and taken the steps to prepare for your new family life. But even the most-prepared people can be overwhelmed by change. Here are six points on how you can make your family get along.

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Acknowledge the challenge
You want everyone in your household to get along, but this no small feat. For many, they are not only co-parenting with their former partners, also now co-parenting with new partners. Acknowledge that it will take time to figure out how your new family handles the change in family dynamics and the challenges coupled with it. It can feel like an uphill battle at first, but taking the time to adjust, and have open and honest conversations with all involved will help you to forge a unified path forward.

Step into your kids’ shoes
Your children or stepchildren are the passengers on this rollercoaster. Care and patience need to be exercised to help them adapt to the situation. Speak frequently and openly with your kids, acknowledge their feelings, and answer their questions as best as possible. Don’t expect everyone to be one big happy family straight away. It will take time.

Work Together As One
As a couple, you will face your fair share of disagreements. This is normal. But be wary of what you say and of your reactions when those arguments occur. Take time to breathe and come back to the topic when you are both ready to speak rationally. This is especially important if your children are within earshot. Talk calmly to your spouse to reach an agreement and don’t bottle up the things that bother you. Find resolutions to issues before the next ‘big’ thing happens.

Set Realistic Goals + Expectations
Much like during the first years of a relationship, couples can become disillusioned when they fail to foresee the challenges that come with blended families. Blended families are not just replacements for what was, rather, it is a brand-new family construct. And if the blended family can face hot topics head-on – stepchildren dynamics and ex-parent relationships – they can create an amazing atmosphere for the family to thrive.

Your Own Unique Family System
Blended families – as the name suggests – need time to stew and brew together and become a delicious, homogenous, slow-cooker meal. Unlike nuclear families that quickly gel together because of being biologically connected, give yourselves and your family the time to develop a unit. Make new family traditions and shared experiences that will help your family bond and embrace their uniqueness.

Bond through routines and rituals
Plan to incorporate at least one new regular family tradition into your week or month. This can be as simple as ordering pizza on Fridays or exploring new parks on Sundays. Establishing regular family meals will also give you a chance to chat and connect with your children, your spouse, and their children too.