THE TRUTH ABOUT DATING A SINGLE PARENT

While having a romantic relationship with someone who is a parent can be complicated, it’s not completely impossible...

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The world of dating can often feel like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube – challenging, complicated and frustrating! Add to that the element of single parenthood and you have yourself the perfect conundrum. It is possible for someone without a child to have a healthy and nurturing relationship with someone who has one, but it’s not going to be easy.

GENERATIONAL DATING DYNAMICS
Let’s face it... Gen Zs and Millenials are built differently. The way we navigate life, deal with experiences and approach the world of dating is different. Things can go from zero to a hundred really quickly, or just as rapidly come falling down like dominoes. What we do have in our favour is that we are not afraid to explore and rewrite our own relationship dynamics.
SO... LET'S BE REAL So... Let’s be real!
When dating a single parent, it is crucial to be real and honest with yourself and your partner. Selflessness, understanding and consideration will go a long way. According to American author and relationship columnist Jackie Pilossoph, there are a couple of non-negotiables that you must anticipate, understand and accept when dating a single parent.

Rule No. 1: their child will always come first. So, if you’re all dressed up and ready for date night and an emergency arises pertaining to the child, expect them to prioritise that. Although there may be some wiggle room for compromise, do not expect your partner to place your needs before those of their child. As a parent, they need to be there for their child, no matter what. Competing with a child for their parent’s affection and attention is never going to work out for you.

Parenting is a full-time job, which they are trying to juggle with other aspects of their life, like work and a romantic relationship. As such, they may not always be as available as you would like them to be. You will need to be flexible and understanding when your partner is busy. For instance, they might not be able to respond to your texts as promptly as you’d like.

THEY MAY NOT ALWAYS BE AS AVAILABLE AS YOU WOULD LIKE THEM TO BE. YOU WILL NEED TO BE FLEXIBLE AND UNDERSTANDING

Remember that the single parent and their child come as a ‘package deal’. You can’t love one without the other. If you choose to date a single parent, be willing to love and accept their child as well. While many single parents will take a while before introducing their child to a new partner, once this does happen, you will need to stay committed. It will not be as simple to walk away if you and the child have developed a bond.
REMEMBER TO TAKE CARE OF YOU
Although love fills our hearts with sweetness and our tummies with butterflies, the ups and downs of dating can have a negative effect on our mental health. Always remember the person you are outside of a relationship and take care of the parts of you that need nurturing. If you feel like dating a single parent is taking its toll on you, it’s okay to walk away – just do it sooner rather than later. After all, staying in a relationship that is draining you will cause more harm than good for everyone involved.

IF YOU ARE THE SINGLE PARENT...
Be aware of the adjustments any partner needs to make to accommodate the fact that you are a parent. Communication is key. However, consider that partners who both have children may be better able to relate to each other. There are platforms, such as the Frolo dating app, specifically for single parents.

By: Nomvelo Masango
Photos: Gallo/Getty Images