LALA'S SELF-LOVE JOURNEY

Lala Tshabalala now knows she’s beautiful, but her path to body positivity and self-love started with childhood insecurities. We journey with her through it all.

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I am Lala. I am, first and foremost, a woman of faith on a journey to discovering the woman I was created to be. I’m very big on purpose and living mine.” This is Lindelwe ‘Lala’ Tshabalala’s response when I ask her how she’d describe herself to a complete stranger.

It’s a loaded answer – one I was not quite expecting in a world that’s often filled with short and shallow responses. But as our conversation continued, I soon realised she’s exactly right in her introduction.

“We’re not here on Earth to live as individuals – how are you bettering yourself and your community? I am very family orientated; I’m social where I need to be. I’m in a place in my life where I’m moving into being the woman I’m meant to be. There’s no room for stagnation – only growth. I’m an advocate for being the best version of yourself, whatever that looks like to you.”

FAMILY FOUNDATION
Born in South Africa to parents who are from Eswatini, Lala and her three siblings – a twin sister, Nkanyezi, and two older sisters – grew up between the two countries, spending holidays with their grandparents in Eswatini.

“I always wished I had a brother; I was a tomboy for the longest time,” she laughs. She does acknowledge the importance of the strong female presence in her life, though, especially that she always had best friends who she could talk to and play with. “Our childhood was not free from those normal sisterly fights – like taking each other’s clothes!”

There were two dynamics in the family: her father’s side is very traditional, while her mother’s is more modern and academic. The family was fortunate, she says, in that they’ve been able to travel extensively, attend good schools and be exposed to many different aspects of life.

“Even though we’ve been very blessed, our parents always reminded us to stay grounded and to remain respectful and kind. We were taught that community service is important – I remember being very involved in church and volunteering at orphanages,” she says.

BECOMING LALA
Young Lindelwe dreamt of helping people, and careers that sparked her interest were psychology and motivational speaking. “I couldn’t for the life of me think what I wanted to motivate!” she laughs. “But I knew I could convince people they’ll be amazing in life.” She says she’s always wanted to ask people what they need and how she could help them with it. So, when she saw a need within herself, she decided to share her journey with others.

What was it that Lala needed? She needed to see herself through the same lens she saw popular plus-size models. Before she was introduced to the world of body positivity, Lala admits she was not proud of her curves.

“I’ve always been big – I was the ‘fat girl’ in primary school and I was teased for a very long time [her twin sister’s body looked different to hers, and the comparisons others made between them would often be physical]. Then I went to a private girls’ high school where all the girls looked a particular way. But I looked different: I was short, I had wider hips and a bigger behind,” she says.

Lala carried these labels around for a long time and remained self-conscious about her body for years. “Only in varsity did I embrace the way I look – but I was still not loud and proud about it. I reminded myself to keep it quiet and not to draw attention to myself,” she admits.

Being a fan of America’s Next Top Model, the reality-TV show hosted by Tyra Banks, Lala’s world changed when she saw Toccara Jones on her screen. “There stood a plus-size woman who was clearly going through the same challenges I was going through,” she recalls. Toccara stood there in a room full of women who were beautiful in the way society had told us was the only way, and Lala says: “She looked like life! I could relate to her. After that, I started googling ‘plus size’ and realised there’s a whole community out there.”

THE START OF HER SELF-LOVE JOURNEY
“I worked against the saying ‘Fake it until you make it’. Don’t fake it! Focus on genuinely cultivating a relationship with your body. Self-hate is taught, and if that can be taught, so can self-love,” says Lala.

Her advice is to focus on things that bring self-love rather than staying in spaces where negative talk exists. “I needed to be intentional about removing myself from relationships and situations that did not speak positively about me – even family,” she recalls.

Lala used this new-found confidence and appreciation of her body to show others that they, too, could step out and be proud of themselves. This led her to creating Plus Size is ME with her twin sis, a brand that celebrates all types of curves.

“I told myself that if I didn’t know that Toccara Jones and all the other plus-size models existed, there was a chance many other South African people also don’t know them.

So, I started Plus Size is ME as a way of publicly celebrating them, and encouraging confidence in others,” she says. The brand garnered many followers online – and helped lead SA in our own body-positive movement.

“My faith is playing such an amazing role in my life... Why wouldn’t I want to share it with people?” 

“I never started out wanting to be a model. I used social media to address body politics after being introduced to the world of body positivity. As my online following grew, a local retail brand reached out to me about creating content for a new clothing brand that was coming to South Africa. I hadn’t thought about modelling, but when I considered it, I saw it as an amazing opportunity.”

The campaign was featured in a local fashion magazine – and the rest is history. “I was then booked for more photoshoots and while it wasn’t in my plan, I saw modelling as a way to still speak openly about body positivity but in a different way,” she says.

“I told myself: ‘I’m not bad at this’,” she laughs. “Walking in front of people [in runway shows] is something else. I was very afraid! But it was an opportunity to build confidence and get out of my comfort zone.”

She’s not “not bad” at it... she’s great. She’s walked at Congo Fashion Week, Lagos Fashion Week, Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week and African Fashion Week International. What’s more, she’s not a signed model and lands work without an agent.

FOLLOWING HER FAITH
Scrolling through Lala’s Instagram page, which she says has changed course since its inception, you’ll see that she’s very open about the role faith plays in her life. “The reality is a lot of people have journeyed with me for a long time. I invited them with me on my journey to self-love, so it is only right to include them in this one, too.

“My faith is playing such an amazing role in my life... Why wouldn’t I want to share it with people? I’m open about my experiences and how faith has changed my life,” she says.

Her journey with faith started back in 2019 when Lala suddenly lost her father to health complications caused by acute pneumonia. “I had been invited to Durban for an event celebrating the top influencers in South Africa. I left my dad in Johannesburg – he was on medication and was looking and sounding better, so I didn’t think anything of leaving him,” she says. When she landed back in Johannesburg, she received a call that her father was in hospital, and he passed away not too long after.

She didn’t immediately lean on faith to deal with it and admits she went through a very dark time. “I started spiralling and becoming self-destructive in a way. I was acting out by drinking a lot more than I should have been. My twin said to me: ‘I think we should go to church. What do we have to lose?’ I wasn’t convinced about it, but I was so broken that I thought I might as well try it.

“The effect of my faith on my life wasn’t instant – it took months of actively participating in church events and immersing myself in it all. Eventually I realised there’s something here – I was feeling at peace,” she explains.

NEW-SEASON STYLE
“The biggest lesson I learnt from my dad is: ‘Keep. It. Moving. Don’t stop.’ When you allow yourself to fall into sadness, it takes away from what you’ve accomplished and the capacity of what you still can accomplish,” she says, adding that disappointment is “just a small crux – amazing things can still come”.

For Lala, a new season is a time to embrace the things you like in fashion, but it’s more than that. “It’s turning over a new leaf. If there are things in your life that need changing, change them. It’s spring-cleaning time – move away from the things that are not working in your life. It’s an opportunity to start fresh,” she says.

Lala also looks to the excitement of a new season to be more expressive in how she dresses, rather than having a style or beauty icon that inspires her. “I love all bold colours and summer dresses. Most people unconsciously go for dull colours in winter. A new season means I get to be out there again, fashion-wise,” she says.

Tailored suits with clean lines and a modern look are high on her shopping list this year. She also loves how tradition and modernity can meet in the name of fashion, as with the #hijabgirls. “I love the influence of that online community, and how our Muslim sisters are able to be stylish and modern with sparkling hijabs. I stalk their style online!”

“I worked against the saying ‘Fake it until you make it’. Don’t fake it! Focus on genuinely cultivating a relationship with your body”

OH-SO SOCIAL
Lala admits that being in the public eye has affected her positively and negatively. It showed her that she has a strong voice and is able to effectively impact society. It also allowed her to share her ideas and grow her brand, she says, but notes that digital platforms are also littered with strangers bullying her.

“Social media is progressive, it’s revolutionary. It can help everyday people do great things, but it’s also where people are being destroyed. The truth is, it’s an integral part of society. Instead of telling yourself or your children to get off social media, teach yourselves how to use it to your advantage. Instead of bingeing on YouTube or TikTok, use platforms to upskill yourself,” she says.

NEXT ON LALA’S TIMELINE
Lala used to be a lot more social but now she is enjoying her own company more. “When you’re so busy, you don’t realise what you have and what you can do. Time spent alone has helped me discover my gifts and allowed me to nurture them,” she says.

Lala feels her strength lies in storytelling and has big dreams of entering the film industry and owning a production company. “Think Hallmark, but more realistic. I want to show people we can rise above our troubles through faith-based storytelling.”

Ultimately, she wants to help people discover their own purpose and help them rise above the hardships in their lives. If her films are anything like her life story, book me a seat!

FOLLOW LALA
Facebook: Plus Size is ME
Instagram: @theemisslala
X: @MissCurvyLala

FAST FACTS

• Breakfast or dinner? I can eat breakfast for dinner, and dinner for breakfast. My short time in Lagos for Fashion Week taught me to enjoy jollof for breakfast!
• Beach or bush? Beach – I love resort wear.
• Lashes or lips? That’s hard... Lashes.
• Youtube or Tiktok? YouTube – there’s more to learn.
• Jeans or dresses? There are far more fashion options around a good pair of jeans.

By: Shani Tsai
Photography: Zhann Solomons
Styling: Mia-Tess Smith