THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES OF KIDS

All they need is love, right? Well, for parents, it may not always seem that simple. We explore the love languages of children and help you find out which one your little ones appreciate most.

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I've spent a few odd days working from home while the kids were still enjoying their school holiday. And while I enjoy being able to have lunch and spend some extra quality time with them, some days are better than others. They say, "Mommy, come look at this!" between meetings, and we enjoy some cuddles and kisses, even when I really need to make that deadline.

Just like adults, kids show love in many ways, and each one wants a specific blend of attention and affection from their parents (even when we don't always have the time). It got me thinking of ways to really maximise the effort from my side so that they feel loved, without leaving me drained and exhausted at the end of the week.

Authors Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell have it down to a Tin their book, The 5 Love Language of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively, when they explain that the idea behind love languages is to understand what it takes for a person to feel loved and communicate our love accordingly.

With this in mind, they identified five different love languages, namely: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, physical touch and acts of service. Now that we know what they are, let's focus on small gestures we can offer our little ones to make sure they feel appreciated.

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

Do they... enjoy it whenever you praise or applaud them, and do they offer you lots of sweet feedback like, "You are the best mommy/daddy"? This means they probably relish words of affirmation.

WHAT YOU CAN DO:

• Write sweet love notes and place them in their school lunchbox.
• Create a name of affection for them.
• Use encouraging words or sayings often.

QUALITY TIME

Do they... yell out, "Watch me do this!" or "Come play with me"? These little ones are begging for special moments with you.

WHAT YOU CAN DO:

• Draw or scrapbook together.
• Read them a story.
• Let them help you around the house.
• Listen to their stories and feelings.
• Enjoy fun, creative outings.

RECEIVING GIFTS

Do they... have trouble parting with things they have been given, even if they haven't looked at them in ages? Children who enjoy receiving gifts also pay specific attention to how the present is wrapped and who gave it to them. They also tend to remember the details of the day the gift was given.

WHAT YOU CAN DO:

• Gift them with a book that you can read together.
• Make their favourite meal or treat.
• Create a photo album or book about them.
• Come up with a special song just for them.

PHYSICAL TOUCH

Do they... love being close to you, and are constantly touching you or playing with your hair? That's a sign that they find comfort in physical touch.

WHAT YOU CAN DO:

• Come up with your own special handshake.
• Sit near or close to them while watching a movie or during story time.
• Create a spa day with manicures or game night with games like Twister.

ACTS OF SERVICE

Do they... beg you to tie their shoes, find their lost teddy or fix a broken toy? Most parents of these seemingly demanding little ones may feel like servants but relook these requests as simple ways in which they feel loved by you.

WHAT YOU CAN DO:

• Occasionally carry them to bed at night and tuck them in.
• Sit down and do one of their homework activities together.
• Make a list of their favourite things to do and then tick them off as you complete them together.

GOOD READS
Want to learn more? Read these:

• Calm Parents, Happy Kids: The Secrets of Stress-Free Parenting by Dr Laura Markham (Vermillion)
• The Conscious Parent by Dr Shefali Tsabary (Namaste Publishing)
• The Whole-Brain Child by Dr Daniel J. Siegel and Dr Tina Payne Bryson (Random House USA)
• The 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell (Northfield Publishing)

By: Melissa Ndlovu
Photography by: Pexels
Text courtesy of Club magazine