HOW TO TRANSITION FROM ONLINE DATING TO REAL-WORLD LOVING

You recently swiped left and met a great match: the conversation flows, the laughs are many, you’re developing a crush. Perhaps it’s time to move things offline and see what happens? Here’s are a few tips to make the transition.

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DON’T DELAY
Dating experts all agree it’s better to meet up IRL (in real life) sooner, rather than later. Why? A number of reasons. One is that, after a week or two of chatting, the spark might fizzle, or you may be prone to over-analysing, creating a picture of the person that doesn’t match the reality.

No matter how well you ‘click’ on a text chat, you won’t know if there’s a real connection until you meet. And finally, to be blunt, it’s a good idea to meet, to make sure the person you are chatting to actually exists – romance scammers are real and live among us. Be on the alert for any requests for money or funds.

Related article: Things to keep in mind when dating online

PLAN AHEAD
If you’re nervous that you might clam up or won’t have anything to talk about, there’s no shame in (mentally) compiling a rough list of conversation starters before you meet. Think of topics you’ve covered in your online conversations that you could delve into in more depth; ask questions about their family or work; and throw in a few whacky questions, such as ‘If all I knew about you was your Netflix account, who would I think you are?”

DRESS FOR SUCCESS
Wear something that makes you feel both attractive and comfortable, that reflects your taste, and is appropriate for the venue.

Related article: 5 reasons you’ve been ghosted and how to move on



STAY SAFE
No matter how much of a crush you may have developed on your match, it’s still a good idea to meet in a public place during daylight hours, and let someone close to you know where you’ll be meeting, what time and where – and perhaps even set up a plan to alert them when you have arrived safely back at home. A cosy café during the day is a low-risk way to break the ice and find out if you ‘gel’. A candlelit dinner or dance club date may sound romantic, but until you know this person a bit better, it’s best to avoid activities that involve alcohol, each others’ homes or late-night antics.

DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
… about the bill, for example. Be prepared to pay for your half. In a male-female heterosexual scenario, the woman may expect the man to pay for the bill, and take it as a bad sign if he doesn’t. This really is a matter of personal preference for both parties, and you shouldn’t read anything into it on the first date (especially) if he doesn’t pay. Societal norms have changed, and he may consider it a nod of respect to your equality when he offers to go half-half. If he does insist on picking up the tab, it is always good manners to offer to chip in.

BE HONEST
If your in-person meet-up was underwhelming, and you can tell that this person just isn’t for you, let them know. You may feel squeamish about hurting their feelings, but it is so much kinder in the long run than, say, making up excuses why you can’t see them again, or, even worse, ghosting them.

If a second date is requested, there is no need to go into elaborate explanations or excuses; a simple, kind text is more than adequate, such as, “Hi X. I had a great time getting to know you. On reflection, I don’t feel I’d like to take it forward, though. All the best.”

Related article: Dating for single mamas: What you need to know